Friday, December 26, 2014

Falling sick

I've been holed up in my house for more than 3 days now.4 days blacked out of life. My daily activity were reduced to bare minimal - eat, sleep, bathe and web-surf. Thankfully life is returning to normalcy little bit and I worked from home couple of hours today. Hoping to drop by office tomorrow for a while if I feel comfortable.

Falling sick is so irritating. You are held down by your body not by your will. Feeling of helplessness looms and you are at the mercy of imperfect human doctors. I might sound robotic here but that's how I feel about falling sick.

Well, this rings a bell that I should take even more cautions approach towards health and diet. I should not take my immune system for granted. Passing years will not benefit it.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Some post

This is a random post. I was bored and wanted to write. So just posted this.
But now after writing that first sentence I have a topic to write. Randomness. Chance.
It is such a wonderful thing. Although arguably there is nothing truly random. What we see as random is result of complex causal link inexplicable by human knowledge.

"The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased. Unprejudiced. Fair."
--Joker

Anyway, on a different note this morning I developed terrible sore throat and it's getting worse. I think I know what it is because these babies keep coming back. It is funny because yesterday we were talking about flu and how if you have flu in holiday season you can pass it as a special Christmas gift :P
I hope it is not flu. probably because I'm sleeping late these days. I need to reset my sleep cycle at least 2-3 hours early.

UPDATE::
After 2 days it was actually viral flu. I'm down with cold and fever. Fever is gone for most part but I still have terrible sore throat, congestion and cold. It has been two days now. I did not do anything on weekend and also missed work on Monday. Let's see how much more it takes. I was also supposed to go to a family dinner for X-mas but now it seems unlikely that will make it. Flu sucks :(

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Quote of the day

Quote of the day:

"Sometimes I just stay in office late because I don't know what to do if I get off early."

Quite lame... :\ I know.

My laptop has been giving me problems lately. For some reason the screen just goes black pseudo-randomly with the CPU running intact. I tried to find the solution and it seems like the graphics driver is problem. Whenever it tries to use video acceleration the screens shuts off. I tried to fix in by re installing different operating system(s) but it gives the same problem with linux mint and ubuntu.
CentOS  7 could not connect to wifi so I can't test there. I had pretty good run with ubuntu but it just doesn't seem to work now!
Finally I decided to get a new one and ordered a Lenovo. And a 23" monitor.

Thursday, December 04, 2014

On Life and Death

As we live on earth we see it full of life all around. Sometimes when you stop noticing it life will brush against you and show its omnipresence. So will death.
Death is as much a reality as is life. Yesterday I wished an old friend on birthday and the email reply was "Saurabh my father passed away on 1st December". It took me a while to comprehend and think of what to reply. I cannot imagine how my friend will be feeling at this point and whether there is anything I can say to make feel better. I am very bad at handling such situation. If I remind death is reality of life that would just seem harsh statement. I cannot ask them to forget their loved ones. I cannot make them stop being sad by cracking jokes. All I can do is just talk to them and offer my help if any.

I cannot stop wondering how sometimes facing death would let us appreciate our lives and how much we should be thankful just to live to see another day. It comes as a stark reminder of how futile our attempts at so called future planning may be. And how our sense of 'ownership' of things we 'own' is more ephemeral than we thought. As they say - Kafan mein jeb nahi hoti (Shrouds do not have pockets).
So the eternal truth still remains that all things must pass. A while ago I posted something after my cousin died and I can't help but re-write the same thing:

"Only certainty in the life of one that has been born is death. All other events have only finite probability of occurrence"

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Thanks

We usually have potluck at my place for thanksgiving every year but this year was different. It was a feast. Thanks to my hosts in Chicago. It was a real treat for a dinner lasting several hours with wonderful people from all over the world. I would never forget it.
I worked a lot to make it to my APS presentation. I have that little feeling of accomplishment even though it doesn't signify much. I also finished a small painting. It's a simple one but it's a start.

This seemed like a break in such a long time. Including the trip to SF trip it was almost a week out of office and now I'm finding hard to concentrate. But I have no choice but to get back to work as soon as I can gather my focus back which has to be very soon! I have some year end self-targets to meet. So here is what Robert Frost would like to say about my situation:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep.
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep."






Wednesday, November 26, 2014

APS talk

I am in SF and done with my talk in the conference. It feels nice to get done. I think I did fine because people from audience who were not my colleague also said they enjoyed my presentation. But I did something really really stupid to in an otherwise good presentation to mess up all the hard work. Fat-fingering sponsored to 'sponered'. It is nowhere close to the original word! I dont know what was I thinking! So said my adviser. I had no answer.
I blame it on Microsoft. I corrected the spelling mistake in a version of file but somehow Microsoft decided to create a a difference version.
Anyways it feels nice to get done and I am  looking forward to my short thanksgiving break in Chi-town.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Warm weather escape weekend

I am flying to SF today for few days for work. The temperature there today morning was -1 x temperature at Minneapolis (in C).
It will be a welcome respite from cold. See you tomorrow pacific coast!

Sunday, November 09, 2014

Another Sunday

Another Sunday in the lab. But this weekend has been fairly constructive. I got some work and some writing done. I have some year-end self-targets to meet. hopefully I am gonna get there. My Mom keeps giving target to find me a girl (or a lady at this age). She will ask about every one of my unmarried female friends. My answer: I like way too many girls to make up my mind. ;)
I am getting into a lot of Billy Joel crap. And also getting back to ghazals. Can't stop wondering how beautiful they can be! Here is a timeless wonder and one of my favorites again. I have posted it probably a dozen times before:

Hazaaron khwahishen aisi ke har khwahish pe dam nikle
Bohat niklay mere armaan, lekin phir bhi kam nikle

Nikalna khuld se aadam ka soonte aaye hain lekin
Bahot be-aabru hokar tere kooche se hum nikle

Mohabbat mein nahin hai farq jeenay aur marnay ka
Usi ko dekh kar jeetay hain, jis kaafir pe dam nikle 

Khuda ke waaste parda na kaabe se uthaa zaalim
Kaheen aisa na ho yaan bhi wahi kaafir sanam nikle

Kahaan maikhane ka darwaaza Ghalib aur kahaan vaaiz
Par itna jaantay hain kal voh jaata tha ke ham nikle

Hazaaron khwahishen aisi ke har khwahish pe dam nikle
Bohat niklay mere armaan, lekin phir bhi kam nikle.

Original+translation here

Friday, October 24, 2014

Happy Diwali

Happy Diwali to all my readers. Here is something to chew on this Diwali

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity"
                                                                                                                    --Einstein

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Hello (crazy) world!

It has been about a month since my last post. The reason I have been out of blogger is very old and stale one. I was busy, But true. After moving to new house I was busy setting everything up again afresh. I might sound like Sheldon here but I will admit that I don't like change. Not in general may be but when it comes to living space it is very true. It is just too much work for nothing. Anyway in the new big house we are 5 of us, like a frat house, and I have 4 awesome housemates. Huge upgrade from previous one.
After that work was keeping me busy. All that summer travel made the work suffer a bit. I should have got done more than I did. So my adviser didn't like it. And if you are doing PhD unhappy adviser is not a good status call. Since then I've been working at least 12 hours a day and 7 days a week. But it seems it is not enough.
I have been inventing ways to cut down extraneous time  expenditure outside work. A big chunk of time which is gone un-worked involves food! Buying groceries and cooking. I try to buy grocery from the store on my way back home, it is a little bit more expensive but there lies the balance between saving money and time. For cooking I try to cook in bulk. Like 8 meals in a go and then freeze it. Towards the end I get sick of eating the same stuff from 4 days. But in the fight for survival I will happily take that over working empty stomach. Another tip is to keep the office stocked with food all the time. So I carry both my lunch and dinner with me when I arrive here in the morning. This way I can stay here as long as I wish and not let my hunger decide the leaving time. To make the whole exercise not hit the health I try to include a lot of fruits for  vitamins in the diet. Eggs and peanut butter and milk and nuts for protein. Potato for carbs (otherwise I keep losing weight, I already lost 4 pounds in last 3 weeks). Because rice is hell lot quicker to make in terms of preparation time than bread/chapati I've been eating a lot of rice. That means low fiber in the diet. Which is not so good for digestion. I've been meaning to try taking fiber supplement but haven't had a chance to buy psyllum husk. It has 28% of DV in 1 spoon. So 3-4 spoons and thats it!
Sleeping, bathing, laundry and some other misc. stuff are other ways to kill time which I haven't figured out yet how to minimize. Minimizing sleep time can be dangerous idea because if you fall sick then it will bite you back. Since last 2 days I was feeling feverish and nausea so I have too be very careful. I slept 9.5 hours last night and feeling better.
Wish me luck!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I'm losing my insanity

I'm losing my insanity. It is deserting me. It will be gone soon.

Friday, September 05, 2014

Packin n Movin

Since Mom left from my house I have been scavenging for my meals. I cooked only handful of times. In next few days I'm packing and moving
_________________________________________________

I moved and packed and my whole place is in a state of disarray. Half the stuff still in boxes. So I am living out of box these days. It is a 5 bedroom house with. Bet feature is a huge balcony. So big that two queen mattress can go in there. But rest of the house was not built with much thought. That apart it is a huge upgrade for me in terms of roommates. I live with 4 awesome gentlemen now. All of them PhD-ing with me at school. All engineers. All of them from same undergrad school I went. Most of us from even lived in the same hostel/dorm. High IQ house ;). I know. But quite homogenous mix. I would have loved to mix with more heterogeneous people but for now I have 4 cool housemates. Together we are five guys.


Monday, August 25, 2014

Mom's travel experience in US

Preface: My Mom is guest author on my blog for this post. She recently paid me a visit in US for about a month. This is in Hindi but I will soon be writing an English translation. She writes some serious Hindi, doesn't she!

बस लोगो से सुनती थी किताबों, पत्रिकाओं व टीवी के माध्यम से वहाँ के दृश्य व संस्कृतियों को देख कर मन में बस आश्चर्य चकित व अतिश्योक्ति का अनुभव होता था। जब भारत के एयरपोर्ट पर मेरी बेटियां व अंकित मुझे पहुचने आए और मैं उन्हें छोड़ कर अंदर जाने लगी मैं बड़ी ही भाव विह्वल हो कर उन्हें प्यार से देखते हुए अंदर आई। अब मेरे साथ दीप्ति थी। वह अच्छी लड़की है उसने बराबर मेरा ख्याल रखा। पहली बार जब मैं भारत के एयरपोर्ट के अंदर आई तो देखती ही रह गए। सब कुछ इंटरनेशनल लुक का था। पर भाषा हिंदी थी। बड़ा ही सुखद लगा। अब थोड़ी प्रतीक्षा के बाद हम अबु धाबी के लिए फ्लाइट में गए। थोड़ी हिचक थी पर फ्लाइट में अच्छा लगा। तीन घंटे में हम अबु धाबी पहुंच गए। कुछ पता न था कहा जाना है। एक गाडी से हम गंतव्य तक पहुंचे। वहां पर्याप्त हिंदी सुनने व बोलने का मौका मिला। वहां के लोग अच्छे व हेल्पिंग थे। दूसरी फ्लाइट पकड़ने तक हमने अपनी नींद पूरी की। कोई डर व भय न था। सुबह एक व्यक्ति ने जगाया। उसने मुझे व्हीलचेयर पर बैठा कर चेक-इन करा कर एतिहाद फ्लाइट के गेट तक पहुचाया। गॉड ब्लेस्स हिम। एतिहाद बड़ी फ्लाइट थी। ऐसा लगा अब बेटे के पास जा रही हूँ। और वह अवश्य बेसबरी से मम्मी का इंतज़ार करता होगा। यात्रा के दौरान रह रह कर सौरभ की याद आती रही। सोच रही थी मन में वह ऐसी यात्रा कर के आता जाता है। फ्लाइट में मेरी विंडो सीट थी। कभी बाहर का बादलों के झुण्ड व क्षितिज का आनंद लेती तो कभी स्क्रीन पर फ्लाइट पाथ का दृश्य देखती। थोड़ी देर तक आँखें बंद करती फिर देखती की फ्लाइट कहा तक आई। यह एक खेल जैसा लग रहा था मुझे। फ्लाइट अटलांटिक ओसियन पार कर के टोरंटो के ऊपर होते हुए जा रही थी। फिर न्यू यॉर्क, और फिर एक लेक पार करके, फिर एक लेक पार कर के फिर शिकागो।

फ्लाइट लैंड करते समय शिकागो का दृश्य बड़ा ही मनमोहक था। बहुत बड़ा था शिकागो का एयरपोर्ट। अगली फ्लाइट मिनियापोलिस की थी। हम उसकी प्रतीक्षा में चार घंटे वहीँ बैठे रहे और विभिन्न तरह के लोगों और उनकी समताओं व विषमताओं से भरी संस्कृतियों का अवलोकन करते रहे। आखिर वह घडी आ गई जब spirit फ्लाइट आ गई। हम लोग उसमे बैठे। एक घंटे में मिनियापोलिस आ गया। इस शहर का दृश्य भी अति सुन्दर था। हम अपना बैगेज ले कर सौरभ की प्रतीक्षा करने लगे। इस दौरान एक अजीब से टीस मन में हो रही थी, जैसे लगा मानो मैं बिल्कुल अकेली अनजान कहा आ गई। कुछ खोया सा लगा। मन नहीं लग रहा था। एक साथ दो फीलिंग्स आ रही थी। जैसे कुछ छूट गया है अंतर मन का। और शरीर यहाँ धकेल दिया गया हो। सौरभ के पापा के साथ ना रहने से ऐसा लग रहा था। उनके बिना बड़ी उदासीनता थी। मन दुखी, बस आँखें सब कुछ देख रही थीं। थोड़ी देर बाद सौरभ आ गया। पीछे से आकर मुझे पकड़ा। मन प्रफुल्लित हो गया। मानो कुछ छोड़ कर फिर कुछ पा गई। अपनी दुनिया मिली।

अब मैं सौरभ के साथ उसके घर आ गई। आने पर उसके कुछ friends मुझसे मिले। उस समय मुझे अच्छा लगा। उसके बाद कई दिनों में बीच बीच में कुछ अमेरिकन और इंडियन friends मिले। मैंने उन्हें डिनर भी बनाया। बच्चों के आने से मुझे बड़ी ख़ुशी मिलती थी। सौरभ ने मेरे स्वास्थ्य व भावना का पूरा ख्याल रखा। वह मुझे स्वास्थ्य-प्रद चीज़े ही खाने को कहता है, और समय समय पर मेरी तबियत की जानकारी रखता है।

सभी बच्चे बहुत नेक व समझदार है। सभी में प्रतिभाएं है। जो सम्मान मुझे अमेरिकन व इंडियन बच्चों ने दिया उसके लिए मैं हृदय से आभारी हूँ। जितना हो सका उतना सौरभ व उसके दोस्तों ने मिलकर मुझे मिनेसोटा व मिनियापोलिस के दृश्य व दार्शनिक स्थल दिखाए ।

धीरे धीरे कब वापस जाने का समय पास आ गया पता ही न चला। अमेरिका का यह स्टेट देख कर मैं यदा कदा आश्चर्य चकित हो जाती। यहाँ की प्राकृतिक छटा व सौंदर्य अद्भुत है। यहाँ के लोग अत्यंत स्मार्ट व फुर्तीले हैं। हर व्यक्ति बिजी व अपने हेल्थ के प्रति सजग है। खाने पिने व रहन-सहन का अपना अलग ढंग है। यह सब रियलिटी से जुड़ा लगता है। यहाँ स्वतंत्रता में संतुलन है। लड़की-लड़के का भेद-भाव नहीं है। वर्गानुगत भेद-भाव भी नहीं है। state को ही देख कर अनुमान लगाना कठिन नहीं है कि अमेरिका प्राकृतिक, टेक्नोलॉजी, टैलेंट्स, का धनी देश है। साफ़-सुथरा प्रदुषण-रहित वातावरण है। ट्रैफिक रूल्स का अक्षरश: पालन होता है। बिजली पानी की किल्लत नहीं है। एसी, कूलर, गीजर व रूम-हीटर्स जुटाने का बोझ नहीं है। ईर्ष्या होती है यह सब देखकर अपना देश ऐसा क्यों नहीं है। सब कुछ दूसरे का और आंतरिक स्वतंत्रता का आभाव सा लगता है।

माना की यहाँ की भौगोलिक स्तिथि व पर्यावरण उत्तम है। परन्तु अपना देश भावनात्मकता का धनी है। समाज शब्द की व्यापक व सच्ची सार्थकता स्वदेश में है। अपने उत्सव, अपने त्यौहार,अपनी आध्यात्मिकता, धन्य है। अपना स्वतंत्रता दिवस हृदय को रोमांचित करता है। धन्य है गीता का कर्म ज्ञान व अपना राष्ट्रीय गान। कोई मनुष्य किसी भी विकसित से विकसित देश में क्यों न पहुंच जाए स्वदेश की छोटी से छोटी यादें हृदय में समाई रहती हैं। भावनात्मक ख़ुशी व संतुष्टि स्वदेश ही प्रदान करता है।
                                                      जय हिन्द। जय भारत।

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So here is my loose translation of the text. It ma not carry the exact feelings because of my vocabulary (or its lack) but I think it has the central idea:
I only used to hear it from people, read it in magazines and see on TV about the scene and cultures there. They instilled in my mind wonder and superfluity there. When my daughters and Ankit came to airport in India to drop me and I was entering airport I kept looking at them with affectionately all the while. Now Dipti was with me. 
She is a nice girl. She took care of me throughout the journey. When I entered the airport in India for the first time I kept staring at everything. Everything had international look. But the language was Hindi. It felt very pleasant. Now, after a short wait we boarded on flight for Abu Dhabi. I felt little hesitant but it felt nice in the flight. In three hours we reached Abu Dhabi. We did not know where to go after here. We arrived at the destination terminal in a bus. We got chance to hear and speak enough Hindi here. People there were nice and helping. We got some sleep before catching the next flight. There was no fear of any kind. In the morning we were awakened by a someone. He took me to the check-in counter and then to the flight gate in a wheelchair. God bless him. Etihad was a huge flight. It felt that now I am going to see my son. And definitely he must be waiting eagerly for Mom. I kept missing Saurabh during the flight. I was imagining that every time he travels it should be a flight like this. I had a window seat in the flight. Every now and then I would enjoy looking at the sea of clouds and the horizon outside. Next moment I would follow the flight path on the screen. Then I would close my eyes and take a small nap. All this was like a little game. Out flight crossed Atlantic ocean and flew above Toronto. Then came New York, and then a lake, and another lake and then finally Chicago!

The view of Chicago was beautiful as the flight was landing. It was huge airport. Next we were to fly to Minneapolis. We sat there waiting for 4 hours for the flight at the airport full of motley of people and observed the similarities and differences. Finally the moment came when our flight came. We boarded the flight. In one hour we were in Minneapolis. This city was also very beautiful. We collected our baggage and waited outside for Saurabh. At this time there was a strange unknown feeling. It felt like I am alone and lost in a nowhere place. It felt like something was lost. I could not put my mind at ease. Mixed feelings of losing something and getting something were running through the head. Like I lost something from inside. As if the soul is left behind and body has been pushed here. Saurabh's dad's presence was missing. There was mood of melancholy without him. Eyes were live, looking at everything but everything inside was sad. In the meanwhile Saurabh was here. He hugged me from back. I was delighted to see him. I found my world again.

Now I came to Saurabh's place with him. Few of his friends came to meet me. I was happy to see them. In the next few days several of his American Indian friends met me. I also cooked them dinner. I was always glad when the children came to the house. Saurabh took care of my emotions and health. He only let me healthy food and inquired about my health from time to time. 

All the children were very nice and intelligent. They were all talented. I'm grateful for the respect I received from them. Saurabh and his friends showed me around in Minneapolis and Minnesota as much as they could.

Sooner than I could realized it was time to go back. I was amazed after seeing this state of America. The natural beauty and scenery here is wonderful. People here are smart and active. Everyone is busy and aware towards one's health. They have there own unique food and lifestyle. It all seems connected to reality. There is a balance in freedom. There is no gender discrimination. No class discrimination. Judging by this state of America it is not difficult to guess that U.S. is a nation rich in nature, technology and talents. Clean and pollution free environment everywhere. Traffic rules are followed verbatim. There is no dearth of electricity and water. There is no burden of getting AC,cooler, water-heaters, room-heaters, etc. I get bit jealous on seeing all this. Why can't our country be like this! Still everything seems foreign and absence of internal freedom. 

Agreed that the environment and the material position and environment are best but our home country is rich in spirituality. In India true and inclusive meaning of society is realized. Thanks to our festivals, our spirituality. our independence day romanticises the heart. Thanks to 'karma gyan' of Bhagwat geeta. Thanks to our national anthem. It doesn't matter if one is in most forward and developed countries one always carries eve the smallest memories in ones heart. Only our home country can provide emotional happiness and satisfaction.
                                           Hail India. Hail India.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

What I learned from Couchsurfing

What I learned about people (and human behavior in general) from Couchsurfing. To give you a background Couchsurfing.org is a social website where you also actually go out and meet people outside of internet. Don't confuse it with dating apps and websites. It is nowhere near those.

People everywhere in the world are essentially the same. All of us don't do different things, we do things differently. There are all types of people in every culture. Good and bad. Social construction and stereotyping at best is awfully inaccurate and meaningless.

People can do a lot for you for free when paid in appreciation. We all love being accepted and appreciated. Why else do you think you keep checking back facebook to see how many more 'likes' that new post of yours got in another 2 minutes. There are ton of people everywhere in the world ready to host strangers without monetary compensation. Or help them in general without asking anything in return. I am one of them.

If you are traveling a little bit of appreciation of local culture goes a long way. If you even show that you are trying to learn the local language the natives will love it. I was buying groceries in a store in Krakow. It was a random odd weekday morning and cashier was just starting her boring day. When leaving instead of thank you I said "dziękuję". And the the way her face lit up, the flash of instant joy I cannot describe it. Another time at security check in Vienna I wished Guten Morgen to the security guy and got through line quickly. He started talking to me in German and I had to confess that I was faking it. At least I knew I faked it good :D
I was trying to find entrance to railway station to take night train from Prague to Krakow and I asked for directions to it from someone on street. This guy happened to be latin American by birth and I said muchas gracias in return. This made him turn back, He walked with me not only to the railway station but to my platform and to the train and to my seat on the train!

All of us want love, acceptance and positive reinforcements. We go great lengths for these three things. My travels and 'couchsurfing' have only reaffirmed the aforementioned. All of us know this but we just don't consciously realize it.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Why not

Sometimes it is better to ask "Why not" than "Why".
Sometimes but not always.
 

Sunday, August 03, 2014

I am very lucky

Me, a friend and Mom have been hanging out a few times lately here. My friend said today "You are very lucky". I know what that means and I totally realize it all the time. I have experience of only one Mom but I still stand by my claim that my Mom is the best! She loves all my friends and they love her. I have also got "Let us exchange Moms".
She is smart and funny. Recently she learned how to upload photos on facebook and flooded it with local pictures :) Which also includes my pictures. :(
She learned youtubing and enjoying it.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Mom is here

Mom is here and I might be traveling around a bit to show her around. It is going to be good good time. My Mom is cool she mixes up very easily with the younger lot of friends. I bet you will like her if you met her. And sometimes says really funny things. Like once she asked if I speak Hindi or English when I speak to American friends :)
Time to have some awesome mom-made home food in America! It is her first time abroad and I hope she likes it here.

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Alota traveling

I have been doing a lot of traveling lately. A lot of things crazier than what I would normally do. I did solo backpacking traveling with strangers in three different countries for 8 days. All three countries had different non-English native languages. Crashing at strangers' places.
Last weekend I was in Rocky mountains in Colorado climbing two peaks at 14000+ feet. It was exhausting as hell but I scaled the mountains. It was good feeling of achievement. My point is the more you travel the more you want more. I've been loving every bit of it. Some would say it is First world activities. But I feel traveling makes me free. I love the feeling of going somewhere with minimal belongings. I feel unbound, unattached. To a place. To things. And to people to some extent. I am practicing minimalism and endurance-ism when traveling.

When you've got nothing you've got nothing to lose.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Back to school

Getting married in India is a stressful affair. My sisters wedding concluded recently. I played the host to 400 odd people and I was totally drained out arranging everything. Finally it is over. Nothing less than a feat. Good to get done!
I am back in Minneapolis and back to school. Slowly picking up on work. It is no summer in summer here compared to what was in India.
For some reason I feel more lethargic than I was feeling when I left. I wear out running only 2 miles, more mentally than physically. I think Im not doing much at work too. I also don't feel like going out much. Is this a hangover of the holiday time spent back home?

Monday, June 23, 2014

Eurotrip

I met several interesting people throughout the last eight days. A Romanian born college dropout running stock trading firm, small town Austrian dude living and working in Vienna, French-American couple expat in Czech, Polish lady born in communist era small town Poland and living in Krakow, two college kids passionate about studying physical therapy and self-proclaimed yoga-freak.
All this travelling only re-affirmed my belief that people everywhere in the world are same. All of us need love, acceptance and appreciation. And secondly that Polish women are among the most beautiful lot.

I was really haphazard in my planning and it only added more adventure to the trip. I had to run and dash to get to travel Vienna-to-Prague. Half of the journey done in a shabby car ride share and other half in a bus whose ticket I bought in 10 min before departure. For rest of the international travel I booked tickets on the fly. But it concluded well with me watching Polish animated movies in a park with two polkas. A friend of friend bid me farewell in Vienna before my flight. Now I'm in India facing the heat and waiting for monsoons.


Austria is a place which I think did not had much remnants of the forgotten war. Partly because most of it was destroyed in the war. I’m not sure of this but this is my guess. Even though in East Europe this part is quite well developed. There are a lot of other industries than the tourism. It was a busier town much like Delhi but with less people. Unlike US and like many European cities the public transport is excellent. But it doesn’t come really cheap in Vienna. I paid 2.10 euro for a single surface tram ride. The ticket cannot be used even if you get down the next station. Most of the Vienna’s population lives in box flats. I spotted very few houses with frontyard and backyard.
My host in Austria was a Mathematician working in IT field. He was in his own words pure authentic Austrian awesomeness. :) We exchange Indian and Austrian cuisines. I cooked mushroom masala and was served käsespätzle. It was one of the best pasta dish I had had!

Prague was even wonderful. I had a really comfy couch and blanket and I slept well two nights at my hosts. They were a couple and a kitty. The apartment building where I stayed itself had a medieval architecture. The whole of Prague is filled with architecture marvels, Prague castle being the most marvellous in town, and probably in the world too! One morning I was eating breakfast and the kitty was loitering around the house. She was really comfortable around me and accepted me as house member. Then all of a sudden she decided to jump into my lap and sit there :) Cute kitty!
I took a WW2 history tour in Prague by Marek and it was quite good. We learned a lot about Prague history. I also picked up strangers and started talking and hanging out with them. I met a guy from Hong Kong and we were in Prague together for half a day. Then there was this travelling musicians from Dutch and Canada with whom I hung out for a while. They were called Te (Traum-Tânz-Orkester). I took a lot of pictures of them playing on Charles Bridge. I promised to share the pictures with them. I didn't get their email but I finally hunted them down on facebook. They are difficult to find on internet!

Trains are awesome feature of Europe which I miss in US. I took a night train from Prague and Krakow. I befriended a German guy from train and we travelled in Krakow together for a day. Next day I hung out with my host. I tried a lot of polish food and drink with the help of my host. Naleśniki, pierogi and Obwarzanek and Orzechowka. If you get a chance don't miss naleśniki. 

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Auschwiz

I remember the winter when I watched the six part documentary titled “The Holocaust”. To tell you the truth I never watched all six. After fifth one I felt sick, depressed, suicidal. I couldn’t take more of it. Previous week I was there – The Auschwitz I and Auschwitz II Birkinau. Among these two grounds there died more than one million fine young men, women and children. During the whole visit there were two places where which can give you shudders.  First one was a room in Auschwitz I where the hairs of actual victims are kept.

Before I go to the second one here are some facts. Most of Auschwitz was destroyed towards the end of war when Germans were retreating and Red Army was chasing them. In spite of this some parts remain in original and some of it is reconstructed to look like as it were. The hairs of female victims were stored in a room to be sold to German fabric industry at half price for recycling purposes.

Second place was the incinerator in the Auschwitz I which was mostly in its original form. The room looked similar to a bakery I saw once. It was the place where people were rounded up for the ‘shower’. Of course there was no shower, there was cyclone B gas, and there was fire. For once I wanted it believe it was all fabricated. I wanted someone to tell me that the whole thing was a bad bad joke someone was trying to pull on me and nothing of this happened. The entrance gate built by Germans read in German “Work makes you free” which was obviously a pretty bad joke.

It is quite hard to believe that there was a society which allowed this to happen. Like love, hate is also a very strong feeling. It can make people do devilish things.

Auschwitz II Birkenau, built later in the war, was a much bigger ground where Jews from all over the Europe were brought. Originally there were barracks for Polish army in these grounds. Each barrack, built for about 70 horses, was later used to house about 300-400 people in them. In these grounds everything that was in Auschwitz one was at a bigger scale. There were 4 gas chambers. Because of the large amount of population sanitation became a problem and threatened safety of Nazi officers staying there. There were several sterilization facilities built here.
I thought I would write much more about it. I remember most of it. I can create a virtual tour of Auschwitz but I think I better not. I don’t want to write about it and I believe you don’t want to read about it.
May be I will write about jolly days of my ‘holidays’. My flight is about to land in India and I am going to see family after a long long time.

Sunday, June 08, 2014

Homeward bound

My nice little Euro trip comes to an end today. I'm in Vienna right now waiting fir my flight to India where I belong. Fir days in Poland and I know more about the place than ever. And so much in love with this country. It ended with me watching short Polish animation movies. And hanging out over beer and soc bananavoa with two sweet little polka with big hearts.


I had gracious hosts in all 4 cities and three countries I travelled. I loved them all. I will write about all of them soon when I'm at ease at home. For now it's bon voyage! I'll see mommy soon!

Saturday, June 07, 2014

Poland

One week in Europe about to end. Right now I am in a not so known Polish town of Katowice. It is a town sprawling with college kids and two of them are hosting me. This is my fourth day in Poland and I am feeling really Polish by now :)
Earlier in Krakow I was at a CS party and I could make believe that I know Polish to many people. Just by using some common phrases. I was eating Polish food most of the time. I really like the Pirogis and Naleshniki. I was traveling in local transport like locals all the time. I even tried Polish drink called Orzechowka with a Polka in Krakow.

I really love Poland by now. Staying with Polish hosts only helped. It is like India in some aspects. Some of the photos look much like India. Other thing that I love about Poland, Europe in general, is the trains. They have good train network. They are cheap for domestic transport and they go everywhere. It coated me only 6 PLN ($2) from Oswiecim to Katowice. Funny thing is you can buy ticket only on board train. It took me a while to figure it out. I know more about Poland now than before. I want to come back here if I can. May be live here for a while.
I have so much to write before I forget about it.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

In the benefit of hindsight I can say I was so stupid. Well, you can say that anyway. But right now I am talking about going out running and doing speedwork yesterday. I pulled hamstring in left leg. Thankfully it is not too bad but there is this residual annoying kinda pain which stays. Icing on the cake - I leave tomorrow for 3.5 weeks break. Not a nicely timed injury :|

In the next 10 days I will be in 3 different continents; at least 5 different countries; and 9 different cities. I see my folks in Allahabad at my last stop! Life's Good!

Monday, May 26, 2014

Travelling solo

This is my last week in Minneapolis before I take my break. If I remember correctly last time I took more than extended weekend break was 1.5 years ago. So this was much needed. I will be gone for about 3 weeks. Of my three weeks break I will hover in East Europe for about 1 week. In India for 2 weeks. My sister is getting married next month!!!


I will be travelling by myself for most part of the time in Europe. They all seem to be very interesting people. I have travelled alone before but not for this long time. And not in foreign lands where I haven't lived or known anyone. All three countries I'm visiting have different languages, culture and currency. . I think it will be exciting. They have trains everywhere in Europe. That adds to it. I will be staying with Couchsurfing hosts in all places. They all seem to be interesting people. As they say, you have friends everywhere., you just haven't met them yet!

But I must say I will miss Minneapolis somewhat. Because it is summer and summer is the best time to be in Minneapolis! One of the best places to be in summer! But I am not complaining. I will be in Austria, Czech Republic and Poland. Yes Poland. I wanted to go there since a long time. In fact the main reason for stopping in Europe was to go to Oswiecim, which is Polish name for the town in occupied Germany where Germans decimated millions. More familiar name is Auschwitz. I am  going to visit the Auschwitz memorial. That is the main attraction of my stop. When I tell this to people they find it a bit weird. But I guess all of us weird in some sense in our own way and our own place. It is a place which marks nadir in collective human behaviour. A shame that this took place and was done by a leader of mass following. It wasn't war it was genocide. It was an important event in history.

I am somewhat obsessed with WW2 history and want to see trails of war history in East Europe. Also for some unknown reason I like the two countries. Poland and Vietnam. Both of them one thing in common. They were hotbed of two wars and destruction at the behest of foreign invaders (if I may use this word). I wanted to see the Poland and Auschwitz. I'm spending half my time in Poland. When I first told a European friend of mine his first reaction was: Poland? No one goes there! :) I don't blame him. He might be true. But I am no one and I'm going there.

I am learning some Polish for fun. Apparently it is a hard language to pronounce. For english speakers they pronunce much different from what they write. Oswiecim is Aaush-wien-shim. Zywiec is Zuwietch. and some more crazy ones. It seems a week is not enough to see all I want to see. I may have to come back to Poland. And East Europe in general. There is lot of history and culture to be discovered. And Europe in more general. And world in more general.

I will write whenever I have time in between.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Momy's day

May is the month of Momy's day and also my Mom's birthday. I love you and miss you Mom.

Have you done this?

Cry in bathroom and let the water run so that no one can hear you.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Ghazal

I like urdu poetry. They become your friend at times and support your existence.

मैं अकेला ही चला था जानिब-ए- मंजिल मगर
लोग साथ आते गए और कारवां बनता गया |

(I set off alone towards the destination but,
People joined by and by and lo! a soon it was a caravan!)

I am either moving too fast or too slow. My caravan is not catching up.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Happiness

Sometime I am saboteur of my own happiness. Whenever I have got something to be happy about I feel like I have something to lose. It is a mixed feeling. I am happy to be happy, just like everyone everywhere is. But I don't like that feeling of having something to lose. So I become tiny bit anxious when I have that. Well, I guess I am not alone. Quote:

"Niki Lauda: Happiness is the enemy. It weakens you. Puts doubts in your mind. Suddenly you have something to lose."

"Niki's wife: When you call happiness an enemy then it's too late. Then you've already lost."

Here is a youtube grab from the movie.

It has been raining Monsoon in Minneapolis since past few days! And rest of this week is going to be the same. I've already got two set of wet cloths. I love to watch the rain. Makes me feel nostalgic. Lovely weather (barring the fact biking becomes difficult.) Come June I will see the Monsoons in the Gangatic plains. :)

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Holi

So we had yet another Holi in Minneapolis. Thanks to the three friends who played hosts (although I invited one guest of my own too). They've been doing this since last three years. It has grown into tradition of some sort now. I like that!

We had to wait more than a month from actual Holi date in want of good weather. TBN - It was 12 C outside on a Saturday but good enough for Minnesotans to call it summer time :) And I was thrown in the river in this temperature; all wet chest down. Kinda caught cold but got well quickly.
It was crazy crazy weekend. Here's a memoir of Holi 2014.


There truely are no rules of attraction. Freakin thing!

Monday, April 21, 2014

I am not 31 yet

Freaking funny article about single guys of marriage-able age with poking Moms! (like mine) :)
I can partly relate to it.



Although I am not 31, or have a pseudo-liberal Mom (she is non-conservative liberal), or have a girlfriend but it is still hilarious read. :)

http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/31-male-and-not-yet-there/article5929265.ece

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Run

I ran in a timed run yesterday after long long time. Minneapolis Hot Chocolate run. At the finish line we were treated with hot chocolate fondue, chocolate drink and sweat treats. Enough motivation to run 5 kilometres!

I couldn't have prepared worse for the race. I didn't run in the week leading to it. Didn't properly do exercises either. The previous night we had a heavy dinner at Egyptian place. I ate all I could. Then bonfire outside by Mississippi until 2. Which meant only 4 hours of sleep before run with stomach full of Egyptian food.When arrived at the race venue I realized I forgot to bring my race bib number. So my run world not be timed. By my watch I think I finished 30-31 minutes.

Anyway the weather in next two weeks looks much better. Hopefully no more snow. I'm planning for a half marathon at the end of summer. August sometime.

Friday, April 18, 2014

:((

Lately I'm being lazy for no reason. I am a lazy person in general. Not to say that I lack motive. Laziness is not same as lack of motive in life. I have a motivation. I want to graduate with PhD :)
"See, laziness as you know is like gravity. All it takes is a little push. Ahhahahah". Dark Knight anyone?

But this week hasn't been so good. I had a not-so-good meeting with advisor where I realized that there is a lot more left to be done. This means at least another 2+ years left. Don't want to put blame on anyone. My adviser is usually more elusive than ninja. I wanted to have this meeting much earlier. But this guy is always travelling. On an earlier occasion when we met my 'objectives' were different than what I have now and I squandered some time figuring that out. All in all it is not that much okay to have a PhD advisor who doesn't see you much one-on-one. I used to think otherwise earlier. Ahh, sigh. But that's life, growing up. Evolution of your thoughts. I am still thankful that I have an advisor like him. (He pays me after all).

I've also been wasting too much time over other things which I thought I will never do. Ahh, sigh. That's the irony of life. We are all still humans and we cannot be programmed (as of yet).

At some point I have to start painting the blank canvas. I cannot just go on ignoring it forever for the fear of spoiling it. I chose a very difficult painting with lot of perfectly worked out details. May be I should just start doing it without much in mind and see where it goes. Like abstract art!

I feel much better after writing all this. Good enough to make me get out of bed and start the day. Have a good day folks.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Being myself

I am stressed out today but swamped with too much work at once to feel anything. Not very often but there actually are moments when I get fed up of being the strong-independent-all-by-myself self. But then I can't afford to do that for long in the fear of falling behind. I have to get back to being that same self. May be I can take one day break from it. Or rather not. What about the deadline tomorrow then? I can't decide what to do today. But I will survive it too to see another fine day tomorrow.

That's called Piled higher and Deeper.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

I am a rock

"I am a rock, I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries."
--Simon & Garfunkel

I've played this song like 100 times in last few days. A cool website to do this: https://www.listenonrepeat.com/

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Happy Holi

Happy Holi all readers. It's never spring in spring in Minnesota so never felt like Holi. We will probably do our Holi when weather warms a little but more.
April some time.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Grad school

Grad school is the kind of place which can mess up with your inside, if you not keep track of yourself. However much you work often it feels like you are not doing enough. You are not making enough efforts. There is always much more you can do or you could have done. So much to do, so much to learn.
And then there are times when you wonder whether what you are doing really matters. Does anyone care about it? Does it really makes a difference? Why are you doing this? This feeling very aptly summarized bellow by phdcomics.



To take it to extreme some would feel they are not entitled to having fun at all. Any time they catch themselves not working it feels guilty of some sort. Then I discovered it is not a singleton behaviour. There are multitudes of us.

So what is it that helps get around some of such stuffs? You would not guess: thorough literature review. I was reading a lot of previous works related to simulation of flow around marine and hydrokinetic turbines in natural river flows and to be honest I was tiny bit surprised that how little has been done. I came across really crappy published papers in random ass conferences getting 20-30+ citations within an year. There was also a published study about the same topic in Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society A which looked like a conference paper worth of work. All of which makes what I plan to do (assuming I successfully do it, or plan to attempt) more important than I thought.

SIGH... Back to Work!

Friday, March 07, 2014

Yay!

I am so excited at this moment but no moment to get away with high excitation. :(
I'm finally taking three weeks break in June two of which will be in India to attend my sister's wedding. Yes, my sister is getting married!
In the meanwhile I'm trying to finish my preliminary exam which consists of writing a 30 page proposal. Basically justyfying a committee of 4 profs that my PhD is worth doing. And what I am contributing to existing set of knowledge and how it will change the world. Stuff like that.
Point of matter is I am working like an ass to finish writing it. Mostly because I am very inefficient when it comes to writing. I spend a lot of time trying to frame sentences and write only this much. I set my personal deadline of mid-march. Looks like it will go missed. But I'm trying hard. It will be some sigh of relief. I want to get done with it so that I can feel excited about my trip without worries. And then go there without less load when the time comes.
Good nighty!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Geeta saar

Following are some of the age old wisdom found in Indian mythology. When I was young, in teen I remember, I used to buy a brand of notebook for school which always carried same back cover. I read that over several times and it stayed in my top rack for some reason. Now that I look back I believe it did shape me in some ways, the way I think or things I believe. Consciously or subconsciously, I don't know. Here is what back cover read like:


Translated in English, in the same order, it goes like:
  • WHATEVER HAPPENED WAS GOOD
  • WHATEVER IS HAPPENING IS GOOD
  • WHATEVER WILL HAPPEN WILL ALSO BE GOOD
  • WHAT HAVE YOU PARTED WITH THAT MAKES YOU CRY ?
  • WHAT DID YOU BRING WITH YOU THAT YOU HAVE LOST ?
  • WHAT DID YOU CREATE WHICH IS NOW DESTROYED ?
  • WHAT YOU HAVE TAKEN, YOU HAVE TAKEN ONLY FROM HERE.
  • WHAT WAS GIVEN WAS GIVEN ONLY FROM HERE.
  • WHAT IS YOURS TODAY, WAS SOMEONE ELSE'S YESTERDAY, WILL BE SOMEONE ELSE'S TOMORROW.
CHANGE IS THE LAW OF THE UNIVERSE

Image and translation adapted from someone else's personal page here.

Good night!

20s

Twenties is the decade of your life when

-You will be who you have wanted to be and who you will be for the most of your remaining life.

-You will sort out the mess generally known as quarter-life crisis.

-You will find answer to most puzzling questions about life. You will give-up on on the ones unanswered.

-You will  hangout most with the person you go everywhere with. Yourself.

-You will come face-to-face with your loneliness and maybe learn to embrace it. Is duniyan me akele hi aae the aur akele hi jana hai. Said so Lord Krishna.


(Disclaimer: Above applies for the central band of people distribution curve. Extrema may be safely excluded. Views are based on authors personal experience, observations and readings. The list is not exaustive.)

Sunday, February 09, 2014

Man in black

I've been introduced to more artists lately by pandora. Johnny Cash's is a story which follows a tipsy turvy road. It's almost like a good drama movie. There is this song that hits me most in which he explains why he wears what he wears. He had this outlaw bad boy kind of image but he also stands up for the 'poor and the beaten down'. He would always wear black in public because as he explains:
"We're doing mighty fine I do suppose
In our streak of lightning cars and fancy clothes
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back
Up front there ought to be a man in black.
"
When you see all this war and suffering in the world you wonder where are those men who stand up front? As if the two deadly wars (Afghan and Iraq) were not enough killing for those-responsible-for-starting-war, there are innumerable suffering in Syria. While a lot of us in better doing part of world will never know what it is to be like in conflict zone, there is a whole generation learning survival skills in refugee homes. We can bask in glory of economic boom and scientific development but for many the achievements of the day are still primitive in nature. Getting food for today.


Well I don't want to sound like socio-path. It just happens sometimes when certain things happen in certain order to lead me to this point. But amid all this darkness there are things that are bright too! Scrambling through the world news sometimes there are things which restore the positive belief. Like this one. Why do women outnumber men in technology in the Gulf? Compare this against Why are there so few female scientists? 
Percent of women in all tech entrepreneurs in Arab world is 35% compared to corresponding global of 10%. Not many would have predicted that. That's why I love technology. It stands fair. Unbiased

Monday, February 03, 2014

Cheer up, because tomorrow will to be worse

Optimism for pessimists:

Cheer up, because tomorrow will to be worse.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Stuff my Mom talks about

Last night I was talking to Mom on phone. Somehow we got into this topic and she starts talking about how our education, though necessary, is only one third part of our personality. One other part is your health and your body you should take care of it whatever you are blessed with. Some are blessed more than others but your credit is to what you maintain not what was not in your hand.
Then third part she said was mannerism. How humility is important to carry all times. And how you carry yourself in society, meet different people in society. And how it is important to meet all kinds of people.
My Mom is smarter than you would think. While this was in some other context she was taking down two birds with one stone. I sensed that there was something for me in all of this ;) Both of us had good laugh when I said this.

She had good reasons to say what she said to me. Last time I was living at home I was more interested in solving calculus problems than attending wedding parties. I explained that I don't want to go to parties where I don't know much people. Often I was excused because I was busy with my school stuff. I think I was still teenager then. Then I remember one of my first blog post about Acquaintance/Relationship unexplored about how many connections that we think can lead to a long-lasting friendships go unexplored because of external factors.

A lot has changed since then I would say. (Not that I am not interested in calculus any more, now I do that, and a lot more, on computer for a living). Mostly within last one year (or less) I think. Now I don't mind walking into a bunch of people I have never met before. I think I have starting liking all of this. Meeting new people and knowing more about them, trying to understand what went through there lives. It is like every person is a story and I try to understand what shaped one's story. I try to do that without being prying lest I sound like creep :) And along the way meet some great people and forge great friendships. Much of which might go unexplored otherwise.

Since last few times I talked to Mom, on more than one occasions I was also asked if I had 'special' friend. And then eventually the conversation goes to start-looking-a-girl-for-yourself. All I had to say in the end that I am thankful to be born in India and that I believe in arranged marriage. And that I believe everyone is good and I can make it work with whoever I end up with. All that said I am not totally ignoring the task. I am giving it some thought, albeit with minimal efforts.

Anyway there is a story may be I can share in next post. I learned one more thing while writing this blog. Writing a blog while cooking dinner is not a good idea. I'm going eat have half burnt spaghetti. Bon apetitte!

Saturday, January 18, 2014

On Luck

Not believing in luck means not believing in chance. Not believing in chance means not believing in probability. And that, my friend, is a mathematical blunder!

That was my first thought. On second thought probability is not related to causality. Two events might me correlated but not necessarily reason for one another. As an example take the case of icecream and swimming deaths. The more icecream people eat the more number of people die swimming. But that does not mean icecream is causing swimming deaths. Obviously in summer people tend to swim more and they also eat more icecreams.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Questions

So I am not the only one faced with strange questions.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080224213502AAHLQO1

Here is another one:

http://www.menshealth.com/best-life/when-im-urinal-work-and-colleague?page=4

Monday, January 06, 2014

Blast into past

Often I will delve into past by going through really old posts in my blog. (I also do this sometimes by shuffling across my older digital photo collection). I wonder what kind of stupid person I was! How could I think like the way I thought. It is funny. But then I also emitted some wisdom intermittently. This comes from a 5 year old post:




"Many a time why are we not able to speak our hearts? Why are we forced by ourselves to unnecessarily draw the covers when we know they are transparent? From whom may we hide it when everybody is aware of the truth? Its just that we are not willing to accept the facts as the appear. By concealing it we are fooling ourselves into unreal world. Isn't it logically fallible!"

And another one. A bit poetic:

"I meet some people who hold my hand & they decide to walk with me. These people & their stay in my life I cannot foresee. Life for me is living in the present, cherishing what I receive ‘now’ from people & things. Let us let things shape up themselves."

Saturday, January 04, 2014

I was here

 Aboard Liberty ship used in WW II


The Pacific