Love her, love her, love her!

Before I could answer (if I could have answered so difficult a question at all), she repeated, "Love her, love her, love her! If she favours you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart to pieces - and as it gets older and stronger, it will tear deeper - love her, love her, love her!"

Loner

There are things in life. Big and Small. Many of them you have to do alone. Nobody however close to you will stand by you.

After a long time went for a night stroll. A bit of leisurely stroll is something which always feels nice.

No winter

It's almost half the December and its still hot in Hyderabad. At times I would miss the inactivity we actively participate during winters. Nothing like that here.

Btw we cooked our first biryani today. It did not look much like a biryani but taste-wise okie dokie.

There is always a better next time. :)

Lost in thought and lost in time

I had have erratic thoughts running through my head from sometimes. I think I am going crazy. I think my life has gone...

Im not feeling good about myself.
That is why Im trying to hide my face. Don't know why.
Im lost. In all kind of thoughts.

like a lots of whys

lots of whats

Im not able to cohere them.
They come in discrete clumps. Bits and pieces.

क्या खोया क्या पाया

"ज़िन्दगी के शोर, राजनीती की आपाधापी
रिश्ते नाते की गलियों और क्या खोया क्या पाया के बाजारों के आगे
सोच के रस्ते पर कही एक ऐसा नुक्कड़ आता है
जहा पहुच कर इंसान एकाकी हो जाता है
तब जाग उठता है कवी
फिर शब्दओ के रंगों से जीवन की अनोखी तस्वीरे बनती है
कवितायेँ और गीत सपनो की तरह आते है
और कागज़ पर हमेशा के लिए अपने घर बना लेते है
तब सुनने वाले और सुनाने वाले में तुम और मैं की दीवारें टूट जाती
दुनियां की साड़ी धडकनें सिमट कर एक दिल में आ जाती है
और कवी के शब्द दुनिया के हर संवेदनशील के शब्द बन जाते है"

Writing on me

Im not writing these days. Sometimes I feel I have things to write. But then next moment I dont feel like telling. I dont feel like sharing it. Something has happened to me.
There are things in office. Im gradually settling in my cubicle. Im getting some work. Then back at home Im writing about myself. On how I carry the diversity and how I will add value to the place. And my life experiences that affected my decision and all. While doing this it transpired that writing on oneself is more difficult than writing on other things or people.

Because when you are writing on other things/people you are writing on what you are observing. Observations can be right or wrong. They may or may not match reality. It is like you are reporting some stuff. But when one has to write on oneself it means to write what you are being not seeing. And then there is language constraint. To know oneself you don't need language. But to write it you need to recollect all of you and then you need language to substantiate it.

Back to pavilion

Play time over. Back to pavilion. Nice break. Nice trip to home.
It was pretty close call with very little time between flight and train while going but I made it in the end.

Sometimes I feel that there is no one to talk to. No one understands you. You don't understand yourself. You
Dont worry its the hangover (of coming from home) which looms there.

Staying in office late from few days.
Got tickets for Day 2,3 of India NZ test match!

Next two days will be on the ground.

Have a lot of work to do. God please motivate me. Why am I such a procrastinator?
Dont Procrastinate Saucy!

Please DONT PROCRASTINATE!!!

Home

After all the musings on the airport, which was in last post, I was able to catch the train from Delhi station in spite of only 35 min window between plane landing and train departure.

Till then I was in relax-down mode. After running around so much in Friday I was in no mood to stop at Kanpur. So I will be coming to campus on Tuesday i.e. tomorrow.

tring my ill luck

How much min. time it takes to travel from IGI delhi to NDLS railway station
bargaining with my ill luck
i so much wish I had a parachute
try the limits of ill-luck
traffic can trafuck you.
saale pilot se mil lo.. and bolo "uncle thoda tez chalao na" :D
one friend in delhi says: lets talk when u reach my home
this is the 2nd time i bungled up while coming to home from hyderabad. its been quite adventurous last time
boarding is at 8:30
Another advice: ek parachute mil raha hai ebay par. description "Parachute. Unused. Small stain of blood on it"
advice: Bribe the TT on any train. If NOT (get down next station and try another

:)

TGIF

Finally Friday the 29th is here, the day I leave for home. But not sure of the day I will reach home. May be saturday, sunday or monday. In remote possibility on Tuesday. Depends on traffic in capital after 10 p.m.

Festive season ahead so great, great wishes to all of you. May all my readers get what they wish for secretly. Or openly, whatever.

I will also be visiting IITK on this weekend or early next week. Probability distribution curve shows maxima on Saturday. So you can expect to see me there on saturday.

Wishing helluva good time for the festive season ahead to all of you. I'll save Happy-Diwali for next post. :)

Purge it

Nothing has changed since last year. The dilemma never ended. It was just postponed for 1 year (<1).
But this time lets go with the application part first.

And then play with the take-life-as-it-comes rule.

So what cometh now is the application.

The deadlines are imminent and work remaining is hefty.

So there is little time to adjust vicissitudes.

Purge them out and manage the things.

Kashmiri's 'will'

(Developed from a forum on BBC. Sadly such kind of opinion can only appear on blogs n forums and not on the minds where they matter)

"Guys,

People here talk a lot of Kashmiri’s will. Let me just deviate from topic and tell u what happens in Britain for law of shareholders. In England law is that when shareholders decide in AGM of a company that the company management change hands then no one on earth can stop it. Now what has happened over last decade is that England has been continuously loosing business to everyone around the world in name of so called will of shareholders. Foreign companies come to England, offer a little premium price to shareholders and in return get their votes to sell companies to foreigners and law just could not stop it. In long run foreigners who acquire English companies shut them down and sell their own good to English. So effectively in the name of so called ‘will’ of shareholders, there has been increasing unemployment in England which affects those very shareholders (common man) on streets. But obviously shareholders (the common man) fail to see this long term effects of such uninformed and short sighted will of his/her.

Now back to Kashmir. For once all kashmiris should use their heads and not hearts and ponder over these points:

1. Kashmir becomes part of Pakistan.
Consequences: All kashmiriyat goes up in flames. Pakistan destroys all culture and imposes its own agenda on Kashmiris. No economy of Pakistan and Kashmiris are made to starve and die. Look at so called Azad Kashmir, is it really azad (independent) or a mere puppet in hands of Pakistan.

2. India gives independence to its Kashmir.
Consequences: Will Pakistan replicate? A highly unlikely possibility. Will Pakistan try to annex or at least influence and install a puppet government in Kashmir? A highly likely possibility. Will China annex the Kashmir? A very very highly likely possibility. And in this case Kashmir will be treated same as Tibet. Today more hun chinese are inhibited in Tibet than tibetians themselves, do kashmiris want same fate for themselves?

3. Pakistan also gives Kashmir its independence.
Consequences: Although highly unlikely but still if it happens then India will be forced to free Kashmir and one single Kashmir will get independence. BUT BUT BUT what about red dragon with its never ending greed? Do Kashmiris want to be part of China where they can’t even protest as protesting against government is illegal in China? Do you all want to go down the Tibet line?

4. Kashmir gets independence and Super Hypothetically stays independent as well.
Consequences: A LANDLOCKED country surrounded by giants as China, India and Pakistan can never survive financially without depending heavily on these three neighbouring countries. There will always be puppet governments in Kashmir and it will always remain a financial slave of one or the other. What good is independence when for bread and butter you remain dependent on the others FOREVER? Look at Europe, Germany, France and Italy kept on supporting creation of small small countries in name of people’s will and behind the scenes they also kept on installing puppet governments in these so called independent countries. Result today they (Germany, France, Italy) virtually rule whole of Europe while giving common man a sense of false independence. Look at Euro zone. Germany and France impose 3% deficit onto everyone else whereas they themselves have been flouting the norm regularly but no one punished them AND now when Greece fails its puppet government was forced to let loose all the austerity hell unto Greeks whereas better methods existed for a way out. And by putting so severe austerity on Greece, Germany has put everyone else in danger as well. Latest example of all this so called fictitious independence is Kosovo being just another country run by puppet government. Do you, in long run, want such conditions for Kashmir? What good is political independence if finances of your countries are dictated by others? Is this false sense of independence any useful? So think of the fact that how will you earn your daily bread after independence and then you will realise the practical difficulties in this highly globalised world.

So for once use your God given brains and not hearts. You treat those soldiers with love and affection and they will replicate. A few bad elements exist in every institution but does that make the whole institution bad. So if you keep pelting stones and burning buildings then you will achieve nothing. Why doesn’t kashmiris sit for NDA exams in large numbers? If there is trouble in family then it doesn’t mean u leave family, u try to solve it within family. How come Pakistan backed militants find hiding places inside the city buildings? How come your so called leaders never lead a protest march? Lala Lajpat Rai at the age of 70+ was leading a peaceful protest march against Simon commission when he died because of an English ordered lathi charge, does any of your Gilanis and Mirwaizes have guts for that? And you call them leaders.

So please use your brains for once and end this violence and stop supporting Pakistan and Pakistani agents (Gilanis and all like him)."

And India win

It will be nice to send Aussies win-less.
:)

Kids were good

So this Saturday was quite not-so-common days of life. Everybody of us mostly have common or normal days of life. And then there are those days which are not-so-common. Those when we would not be doing/having things which we will call that as such 'stand out' from activities of some + or - x days from that day.
So coming back to the point Saturday was that kind of day. Not that it was some F-ing day of my life or stuff like that but it had some salience which I can't associate with other Saturdays.
So coming back to the point again we (me along with some co-workers) went to a school and spent some time with students. There were few competitions where students participated with vigour we did not know when in class 10. Most of the children came from very humble family background but Im sure they could have outdid many in terms of enthusiasm. They enjoyed. We loved.

So. It was over. We went to Bangalore. Met some of the old guys. Watched first day of Bangalore test. Had some so-called fun.
And that was pretty much of it. Came back and ensconced in the frame.

Cricket Match

If everything goes well on Saturday I will be watching the cricket match live on ground. For the first time.
That too a contest between top two teams.
So this weekend will be in Bangalore.
I am also contemplating buying a bicycle to commute between office and home.
Many people discouraged the idea as in it will be odd.
But apart from that cycling in hyderabad is BIG deal.
By doing so you decrease your life expectancy by increasing your probability of death at young age.
In hyderabad there is no concept of footpath leave alone cycling lanes. So you have to work your way through bigger vehicles on the main road.
So I will have to watch out for the streets I will have to cycle through before executing the idea.
In the 3 days since I moved to new apartment the observation was that roads from here to office are relatively flat.
But the traffic is loaded.
See you Bangalore. In 3 days time.

No news

I know I am posting very few these days. But I dont know why. I will tr to keep posting. Although as of now there is nothing like work pressure at office. I sometimes even wonder why I am getting paid!
The only news is that we are moving in a new house this weekend.
And today with all the scare of Ayodhya verdict there will be quite a bit of security.
There are a lot of speculations about what will happen. Possibly communal clashes.
There are always people around us who take pleasure in meaningless things.
Sometimes I wonder that we are losing more than we are gaining from Religion.

Theory of Everything

Today was one of those days in life which leaves you confounded. Each day I travel to office I see different faces. Girls and boys, men and women, young and old. All of them so different but yet same to me. So what's really different about them.

One lady was standing besides the road with her mate, talking. Another was driving her skoda to office. Few were sitting in auto-rickshaw. Many more were waiting. Pedestrians walking across muddy side street. So what is it that makes you. Is it the skoda, the bus, how you dress, how you eat, what you eat, what you own, how you live that matters? Is it really the thing that makes a difference.

Think over again. Do these things really matter? In the eventuality it is not how many cars you've driven or how many houses you have owned is the reason that you are happy or you are sad. But still we want everything in life. Even things that we try to debunk when we see others having it.

One of these days I was reading the utilitarian justice theory which presumes that all humans are equal. Happiness value of every individual is of equal importance. Did anybody see anything wrong in this point of view? But we all know how this is not reflective around us. Imagine a guy like you getting a fever and somebody living-under-a-bridge child getting a fever.

Why do we get into this? So what is it all about? The only answer I get for this question is - 'Confusion'. The more you question the more strong your conviction about the answer.So it remains undiscovered what the answer is. And to a certain extent what the question was. But so is the 'Theory of Everything'. Undiscovered.

What a life!

do
{

Get up.
Go to Office.
Come back.

Get up.
Go to Office.
Come back.

Get up.
Go to Office.
Come back.

Get up.
Go to Office.
Come back.

Get up.
Go to Office.
Come back.

Get up.
Don't go to office.

Get up.
Don't go to office.
}
while (NOT dead)

e

It seems new city does not suits to my eyes.

First the lens correction increased to -0.75, -1.0. Secondly I am suspected with some xyz hi-fi eye disease a doctor in this hospital.

Now the advice is to keep dropping the eyedrops and have diagnostic tests. 

Eventually we have to face the tests and the result.

Let us see what it turns out to be.