Your choices are half your chances!

Choose carefully Choose confidently.

Sleepiness...

I feel like I am sick these days. Sick with what? Oh I'm sick of my sleeping habits. I'm sleeping like anything. Sleeping like 10-14 hours! Is there something called sleeping sickness?
I feel sleepy all the time and anywhere. In the lectures, at room. And once I felt sleepy in the toilets! Oh God! there is something serious about it. May be I am really sick. But what wight be the treatment for it. There are sleeping pills for those who have problems with sleeping. But where do they get these waking pills. [:D] I've tried coffee, biscuits (I don't drink tea). Once in a wile I was joking with my roomie that they say in Hindi movies that pyar me need ud jati hai. I wonder how. And I seriously need it. Coz I've skipped double the no. of lectures that I skipped in all previous 5 semester totaled.

Sometimes deception may be deceiving!

Sometimes even deception may be deceiving. You may be knowing the truth without even knowing that you are knowing it! But does that means that it is truth? Because truth is justified true belief and it satisfies all 3 condition. But the flaw is the justification is not that which corresponds to the belief.

Anyways I'm not in a mood to discuss epistemology(although I loved to read it when I read). The big show is over and now all set for the second challenges. At the beginning of the semester I accepted some challenges. I've successfully conducted Indian Open '08. I also finished near 60 (though not under 60sec). I got an internship in Dr.Reddy's Lab, Hyderabad; this actually happened 4 days before. The next thing up is academics in this semester. Im lying on the edge of 8.0 CPI. To keep above 8 B.Tech. graduating CPI I will need to work very hard and actually devote much time. Given enough attention this can be done in spite of the damage done in 1st mid sem exams.

But then at other times I think do I actually need to worry about CPI for the goal I have in my mind? If I screw my 2 semesters as bad as 7 I will still not go far below 8 which is not very much different from 8 . But the look of number EIGHT 8 might be of use.

Deception

Kai baar jo dikhta hai vo hota nahi aur jo hota hai vo dikhta nahi. Sometimes you try to judge people with what you see and hold them in high regards. But however convincing it may appear there is equal chance that its all DECEPTION. Equally true is the converse(not inverse) of the statement. You think that you have conducted yourself well but you might be very well misjudged by people. Deception is inherent in our life.
Existence of it (at least apparently) defies logic and rationality.

I'm dying to write about IORC experience

I'm dying to write about IORC experience but Monday is havoc day for our batch of Mech Engineers. Hard time preparing for two labs on Tuesday. It's painful to wait 1-2 days more.

Techkriti '08

Techkriti ''08 seems promising. With 39 sponsors for the festival as compared to last years 15 seems a big difference. Prizes over 10lac to be won!

But the little Saucy is too busy with it. Im not sure I'll be able to witness many great things this time. With the professors making it hard time with their assignments and lab reports and organizing IORC fort the first time little time is spare. I feel sorry to have not written so long. Very few posts over last few months. Even today I was half mind to write since I have to wake up after 5.5 hours for a lecture and then do 1 assignment, 2 lab reports and 4 lectures in the coming day. And the follwing day I am supposed to attend 2 lectures and 2 Labs till 5 p.m. And amidst all these I have to make sure that IORC is conducted smoothly, confirm participants for accommodation, buy some gadgets from city and ShopC, make calls to pidilite Mumbai office and arrange for silicon spray from Delhi, innovate ideas for publicity. Save me.

Mid sems

I will not say I am having worst mid sems but exams were disasterous. It seems I was not able to work upto level. Sttill 2 of them remain tomorrow. Hoping to do well in that. Good Luck for me!!

I'll be busier after the exam than before exams. I need to do lots of stuffs piled up. Using google notebook in Mozilla addon is really good. Its workig cool for me!

Newe best score 49s!

Exam time nears. With the least of preparation lets hope to make best out of the rest! five exams to prepare for.

Awaited at my room no 367 are three posts
1) a parcel containing stackmats and other things from London
2) cubes from Shanghai
3) eyemasks from Maharastra

First one expected to arrive on 30th Jan and no idea about the others. Hope that it reaches before the big day - the day of IORC.

With the decreasing temperature of Kanpur my best score keeps on lowering. From earlier best of 59 to 57 to 53 to 51 and now 49 today!!! I wish we experience sub-zero temperature in Kanpur on the competition day!

Get busy living

The cubing business and studies, first one being prominent contributor, are keeping me busy these days. I am sorry for not being able to write a full post since long time. I hope my time spares me to report all the worth-remembering stuffs here.

New chalenges

This semester sees challenges one after the other for this Saucy little creature who is called me(I dont need to introduce myself). I have never been into those things stamped as extra-curricular- activities. In fact I don't like involving myself in activities just for the sake of resume building. I was strayed in first year and been exploited for Dramatics Cell, Antaragni '05. That was the first semester. That was the time when I was left open so many unprecedented things and I tried maximum of them.

But that was only for first semester, or rather first year. After that I did everything to my liking, anything that makes happy. And following that course I am in sixth semester with bigger challenges than the first semester.

Techkriti '08 invites me to devote my time. I didn't go for doing-'anything'-in-Techkriti but still I was there. I am coordinating the Indian Open Rubik's Cube 2008 that falls next month. Honestly speaking I was not wiling to do this initially. I would have prefered somebody organizing the event and me taking part with all entusiasm. But I friends made me realized that it was only me who was appropriate for the job

New year post

Recently one good friend observed that I haven't written a 'happy' post since long. It seems that I am going for suicide. I went through last few post and found it myself. So here is a post in high spirits. Good news for my well-wishers is I will never attempt suicide because I believe Mamma has made me mentally strong enough to save from breaking under pressure.

Anyways, here begins a new semester with a new year with all new commitments and all fresh enthusiasm. I hope it lasts longer this time. I am determined to do three things this sem:
1) Cubing and IORC
2) Heat Exchanger Design and Intern
3) CPI abve 8
4) Newsreading

Happy New Year to all the few readers!

Pissed off!!

Im simply pissed off from my life these days. I don't know if there is problem with me or the world around me. Either the world or myself has gone crazy.

Days of rest and unrest

I was back to IITK campur on 12th evening. Thereafter not having a great time. Some profs have are creating probs with IORC. The didn't like the idea of non-student participation. I don't know why these professors are so obsessed with themselves. If he doesn't agrees then our efforts will be spoilt. All this spoilt the day and the following one. When we try to reach him, he is not available due to some God damn conference in campus!

Very recently one of my friends called me and enquired about sudden extrovert nature. And whether I've developed more-than-friend feeling. Ohh God damn it! When you appriciate somebody and want to make friends with that somebody and that somebody is a girl, then is that necessary and sufficient condition to conclude that you are trying to persue the girl! Most of the people think yes. But all my rationale could not justify the fact. I was unable to see how this could be true. I wish that the girl would have been boy and rest exactly the same then nobody, including the boy, would have had any problems and we would have been good friends. But it is nobody's fault. This because we see each day people around us involing in open relationship so easily. The so called concept of girlfriend/boyfriend comes into play very easily between boys and girls.

Dream Indian Open 2008 fulfilled!

My dream true when I recieved an official confirmation letter from WCA. Now IITK will hold Indian Open Rubik's Cube-2008 in Techkriti 08. My efforts gave results and cubing fever has started in India! Stay alert!
One person whom I will be greatful to is Mr. John Louis. Now let's hope to make it as big as we can....
Here is the link on techkriti website: http://www.techkriti.org/index.html#lookup_Events_InternationalEvents_IORC

From the pages of my diary

Post Title: I am out of my head
Current Mood: Emptiness surrounds me...
Written:
28/10/07, 21:20 a.m.
I am out of my mind this moment. And the moment just before this, I discovered an unknown(till now) characteristic of me. At regular intervals I fall into fits. Fits that don't let me forget the world's most difficult-to-answer question- 'Why are we here?'. I haven't yet discovered what circumstances are the mother of such fits but they leave me miserable. I travel time way back to 'last days of my 2nd semester'; in the same state that once forced me to identify myself with clouds. Confusion, dubious, perplex, indecisive.... And yet again I develop dusk phobia.
Why am I doing things I am doing? Everything seems meaningless.

29/10/07, 02:10 a.m.
Now I feel like I am recovering to the state where meaninglessness has less effect.
You see; things are sensible when you give up reasoning and don't think too much. The moment you start asking questions, queries for answers, the havoc starts.
In good days of my life when I was a school by concerned only about studies, friends and family things seemed so simple, so sensible.
"But now since those days are gone I'm not so self assured".
As I try to find out reasons no conclusion seems satisfactory and I have suggestions from well-wishers like-- 'Don't think too much yaar'; 'God has given us this life as a gift, make it' and blah blah.
But these answers seem as opening chapter of a whole new book of questions. This recursion goes on and I'm more in mess. Instead of pondering over answers I always catch myself drowning in a pool of question, trying hard for each breath. But how long can I hold on?
But as soon as I come out of 'fits' back into 'wits' (of vice versa is more appropriate) things seem more reasonable and I feel more comfortable being with the world that I fear I doubt is meaningless.

02:45 a.m.
Oh man! Im again into fit.

02:45
Post Title: No title
This post is about how I met a person accidental. And then I regretted for my apparent selfish behaviour. It was she who came forwarded to us and to team up for a quiz competition(us = me and Anks). Then together we performed decent and managed to finish second.

03:03
I think I would not be able to script everything with exact precision if I do it in the morning when I would be out of fit. But I can't survive being conscious while in fit and such thoughts.

30/10/07, 00:10
The feeling of emptiness is what still effects my time. Past 22 hrs. of my life were influenced by it. To begin with the script; the girl asked to exchange phone numbers and asked us to come the next day for another competition. As we (me and some friends) reached there I was not fully recovered from the fits of last night and I had a half frowning face. I was not able to recognize her before she came sufficiently close to me and and waved her hands before my face. My other friend was more into conversation than me. I was least inclined towards uttering sentences as framing up sentences seemed like preparing a report but couldn't escape yes/no stuffs.Even she exclaimed why I was not talking. Then she tells she is a very good political science student. Political science is one of the topics I loved in my schooldays and I inherit this from my Mom who is half M.A. in Pol. Science. But after the event we were in hurry so we left without saying a word to her which was the thing that pinched. I had never been into habit of being ungrateful and discourteous. At that moment I was not able to judge but after leaving I didn't like it as a whole. Using when I need you and then 'I don't know you'. This is not what Saucy has been like. I called her up. But it was not able to hear properly in the crowd so we switched to messaging. I asked her to meet in SAC. But later when I tried calling her, the result was call-disconnected. Same result 3 times. Do I deserve this for my courtesy? I collected the prizes and then left a message to her to come at SAC and share the prizes. This time reply was 'meet me at control room'. Again I couldn't recognize her until she waved her hands before my face. This time she was with a guy. I am 90% sure of what she might have thought. The excuse she gave that I wanted to press green button but pressed red button seemed to fit in the condition. By what she talked and how she behaved she seemed very sensible person, great person in fact. This was confirmed by two other friends of mine who also interacted her independent of me. She was least pretentious unlike most of the girls. All these reasons and many others made me feel she was a potential good friend of mine. Had I been two years back when I posted the blog titled Acquaintance/Relationships unexplored, I would have never tried to meet her. I thought in two years I have grown up and decided to talk to her.
But is that really the case? Have I grown up any bit in two years? Have years changed me? The kind of response I got from her was enough to put me on trial to decide on aforesaid charges. Travelling through the vicious circle in time coordinate I stand at the same point where I was 2 years back when I wrote Acquaintance/Relationships unexplored. So what? At least I tried being an extovert. As many others, one more relationship unexplored, one more relationship lost.!
So what's the tip for me? To be happy with my little world and enjoy the possiblilties of these relationship within my mind of the maximum write them about the way I did just now and at some point use these characters to develop a good fictionin future! Kya baat hai!! Kuchh metha ho jay...... Metha na mile to have some chanas and sing along
...
""Hazaroon khwahishe aisi ki, ki har khwahish pe dam nikle;
Bahut nikale mere arman lekin fir bhi kam nikle.""


30/10/07, 13:48
Waking up late till 4:00 it was difficult to stay awake in the 9:00 a.m. lecture. Yesterday Prof. Malik said: "If I hav not made attendence compulsory, why do you come here and insult me by sleeping in my lecture?" Both these thoughts made me to skip the lecture. At 10:30 I was hit again when I came to know that there was a surprise quiz weighed 6.67% in the lecture.

31/10/07, 01:45
After talking to John Louis yesterday and hearing from Tyson Mao nad Ron Von Bruchem through mail, it seems that the first ever Rubik's Cube challenge in India might be possible in Techkriti 2008. Estimated no. of participants is 40. The only problem as per now seems funds. To have equipments- stackmats, display and cubes- we need sponsors. Techkriti coordinators are silent over this. They just keep telling , try for WCA eventand never discuss on this aspect. Without this my efforts and John, Karthik and Sachin's help would be wasted. We desperately need sponsors. Whether anyone will sponsor the event or not is a big question. Suppose no specific sponsor for this event comes then how far will Techkriti suppot. Still unclear. But one thing seems clear that WCA 'support' we have.

31/10/07, 18:45
I was wrong. I thought I was back at the point of life when I wrote my first post on blogger. But I'm free from charges. Just now got a call from _Name Undisclosed_ and the reason was just-like-that. That means I've grown up in past 2 years. I remember when I told Mom about this aspect of me 2 yrs. back- my difficulty in aquiring acquaintance/relationship, initiating conversation. And her reply was "now that you have realized your problem, you will easily and surely overcome it". This birthday around 70 people wished me. Last year this number was much less. Now I see the truth of Mom's statment.

01/11/07, 01:40
As some of my friends came to know _Name Undisclosed_ calling me, they were more excited than I ever thought I myself would be. A gang entered my room saying Saucy ab comitted ho gaya. Hah! That is the last thing this world will witness. As I've written earlier I don't believe in teenagerish commitment. I hold someone in good regards and want to stay in touch doesn't give rise to anything of such sort to create hype. But you know, this place is boys hostel that too in IIT. These things are inevitable.
About talking to John Louis for about half an hour things seem to be working our way. The only problem is now sponsorship. If somehow I can get sponsors then Indian Open can be realized.

Time for Studies

End sem exams are up. First one falls on 20th. And then 2nd hits same day with a gap of 45min. Cant imagine in what state would I be after being examined for 6hr continuously and that too the 2 most difficult courses of this semester. Life of not so easy this month. I wonder what my horoscope might have predicted. They usually don't read like "this month brings mishaps". They are made to please you!
Although as I see the month falling in gray note, positives might turn out. I'm expecting official confirmation letter from WCA for RCIO-2008. And then I'll turn all efforts towards publicity. As the semester draws towards closing let me pick out things to remember from this sem in the next post.

Indian Open 2008. Not so far

Rubik's Cube Indian Open 2008 is not far away. We are on the verge of finalizing the competition. But WCA's letter is awaited. Hoping for a positive reply.
Next up remains the task of sponsorship and media coverage.

Back from home

Yet another post on 'Back from home'. And 1 more semester going to go. After this one 50% remains. After having badly spoilt 2nd mid-sem, now only hope is end-sem. Too few hope. Departmental Winter trip of Pune-Goa-Bombay cancelled due to cousin's wedding on 6th dec.
Not in a mood to write more coz it always feels bad when you arrive at college from home. It takes some time to recover.

Unprecedented unfamiliar

An unprecedented, unfamiliar, unimaginable, unthinkable, unusual, abnormal feeling surrounds me. Can't tell what is this feeling. I have my exam from 9:30 but I'm awake and idling with blogger at 3:00 a.m. Why I am not able to concentrate I know not. Out of the remaining 5 tomorrow's is the only exam which I can hope to do well. And still doing away with it in this manner. God help for other's?

What is causing my state miserable? What is it I know not? What is that haunts me? What is it I fear? Has anybody answers to this? What is the gloomy I see in everything around me? Is it intuition?

My nose is bleeding and I had bad dreams too. There is something bad going to happen. I can smell it

I stand on the verge of giving all up, but I will not give all and stop writing the shit and try to concentrate and try to recollect the broken pieces and I will die! But only till next morning.

Saucy breaks!

It was never again since the Maths exam of 12th boards. I have been taking acads seriously but never felt like too much affected.

Today I felt like I can never recover what is lost. I have studied too little for Mis-sem 2. now exam starts this friday with philosophy. then five more from monday to wednesday. I would never be able to do all of them. With miserable performance in first mid-sems I think I will screw this semester badly. All these thoughts brought tear glands into action. And twice in the day it happened to me.

Here I start my good old attitude. When you think you are failing, think that you have nothing to lose and try to gain as much as you can. So I start from zero and start preparing from now. Rest will be tackled in the end sem exams.

Only good thing today was that I got a reply from Tyson Mao(WCA delegate). He asked to contact Ron as he has better connections in India. He himslf deals in USA. Tyson Mao is the same person who taught Will Smith cubing for the famous movie we all know.