Deception

Kai baar jo dikhta hai vo hota nahi aur jo hota hai vo dikhta nahi. Sometimes you try to judge people with what you see and hold them in high regards. But however convincing it may appear there is equal chance that its all DECEPTION. Equally true is the converse(not inverse) of the statement. You think that you have conducted yourself well but you might be very well misjudged by people. Deception is inherent in our life.
Existence of it (at least apparently) defies logic and rationality.

It's never all over

Strangely enough this is not a never-lose-hope kinda post.

When I was a kid, I heard people say: "Beta achchhe se padh lo, ek baar base achchha ho gaya to aage achchha karoge". I got it then. I was a decently well student and scored percentage in 80s.

When I passed 8th standard, my sister said: "See Saurabh, now is the time to start board studies. It's very important that you score in ICSE". The coaching teacher in 10th standard said: "You will have your high school mark-sheet shown everywhere. Leave all frolic and engage yourself in studies only". I said, OK sir here is my effort. I dumped the whole year in study-bin. Then. Sir, here is my 90% at the end of the story.

But the story was just begun. 12th board was the new story. It's a bi thing in one's life, I was told. Relaxed a bit in 11th, but soon it was time to screw again. For boards and simultaneously for JEE-04. During this year I got unprecedentedly large number of this-is-the-time type comment. One uncle who used to be an engineer said: "Beta Saurabh, yahi waqt hai. khub mehnat kar lo fir aage to aish hai aish". Beta Saurabh thought as usual: Right Sir I will do that as I've been doing ma whole life.

I remember a day during this year when my sis tagged me hard-working-fool. It was not in this context but as I think it over now it's as much true. Yes, that was what I've been all my life.

But the fool was to be fooled more. So JEE people did not select him for JEE-04. One more year of fooling around in a strange new place with all strange new faces. I moved to Kota, Rajasthan for one year and made my life more miserable. But life is a function which takes miseries as input and gives back big things as output. Akbar was King at 14 just because he was born in deserts when his parents had nothing. Not even food and water!

This was when I thought This might be the all over point. This might be the end. Came to IIT Kanpur and caried this myth for one more year.

Then it was summer of '06. I was seriously caught in a mental paradigm. If this is the end then why not it had ben 2 year back. Why can't it be 4 years hence? Trying to solve this I was reading a book by Mr.Robin Sharma.(Yes, the same you are thinking now).

Now my dear. It scraps the question itself. If you want to be happy. It this very moment is the best time. Try to be happy in this moment and apply the same model to next moment and you will never be sad. All the while you sacrifice your present for future and then you realize that these is no future infact. When 'what you think future' comes, it comes in the form of present. So don't you think the present is important than future?

SO what's the tip for me? Ho sake to isme jindagi bita do pal jo ye jane wal hai. Think future live present.

All we want is love

Holi this time was as colourful as ever. At first I wasn't ready. Thought of tomorrow. But Mannu, Jatin and Matty surprissingly turned up at my home and started colours. Then it was all red and green and blue.
In the day saw the movie Anwer. It says the same thing. All we need is love. The SP, master Pasha, Mehru, the journalist(Mrs. Koirala), the minister, Anwer, Anwer's friend, all were unhappy. And the reason was one for all of them : they all wanted LOVE.
If you are feeling sad now, just reason out why; untill you arrive at the conclusion that all you want is Love.
It's holi time. Gota go out and meet people.

Left to right: Jatin, Matty, Mannu, Saucy.(hav u identified me?)

About me

Some changes in the about me section on orkut. Here is the old one:
I’m someone who staunchly believe in karma theory…that you reap what you sow…. ..in this birth or in the next….and the cycle of birth and death goes on unless you attain the spiritual path and succeed in your journey towards the final Nirvana.

Hates pretentiousness, arrogance, hypocrisy, liars, racists.(Specially the first one).

Usually not being talked about in the third person..
Uncomfortable being in spot light.

A great Procrastinator, cunctator, lazy, sleepy, lethargic, unpersevering, languid, dilatory, dilatory, lackadaisical.(these r not my vocabulry but synonym search for lazy)

Enjoys living in "dead state"

I have my own perspectives to look at things. Even small things which nobody thinks about appeals to me so much.

Loves to ponder about very abstract things.

Known among friends for having no guts, the one who never dares.

Emotionally connected to every small thing around.

Indecisive over matters.

Im not always the first to initiate the conversationas, I wonder if the person would be comfortable speaking to me. I always wait for others to invite me for speaking. Im always very eager to know what other people think of me.

Perplexed, Confused within myself, clouded, doubtful, dubious, dubitable, Indecisive, inconclusive, indeterminate, problematical, uncertain, unclear, unsure.

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?"

"Hazaron khawahishen aisi ki har khawahish pe dam nikle,
Bahut nikle mere armaan lekin phir bhi kam nikle"

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BLOGS:
http://shanunerd.blogspot.com/
http://saurb-lifeblog.blogspot.com/
http://geeky-rubbish.blogspot.com/


Here is the new one:
Im not always the first to initiate the conversationas, I wonder if the person would be comfortable speaking to me. I always wait for others to invite me for speaking. Im always very eager to know what other people think of me.
Usually not being talked about in the third person.A great Procrastinator,lazy, sleepy, lethargicEnjoys living in "dead state"
I’m someone who staunchly believe in karma theory…that you reap what you sow…. ..in this birth or in the next….and the cycle of birth and death goes on unless you attain the spiritual path and succeed in your journey towards the final Nirvana.
Hates pretentiousness, arrogance, hypocrisy, liars, racists.(Specially the first one).
Known among friends for having no guts, the one who never dares.
Perplexed ,Confused, indecisive ove matters. Yet determinned over what I decide. My principles mean to me more.
And at last these great lines from Galib's pen and Saucy's lips:
"Hazaron khawahishen aisi ki har khawahish pe dam nikle,Bahut nikle mere armaan lekin phir bhi kam nikle"
Adicted to bloging - both public and private. Here are the public ones:http://shanunerd.blogspot.com/
http://saurb-lifeblog.blogspot.com/

Life's Little Instruction Book

Life's Little Instruction Book: --- Some pretty cool ones
===============================================

Have a firm handshake.

Look people in the eye.

Sing in the shower.

If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

Keep secrets.

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

Always accept an outstretched hand.

Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the
difference.

Whistle.

Avoid sarcastic remarks.

Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90
percent of all your happiness or misery.

Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

When playing games with children, let them win.

Give people a second chance, but not a third.

Be romantic.

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters,

Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for
your convenience, not the caller's.

Be a good loser.

Be a good winner.

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.

Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.

Keep it simple.

Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.

Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross
the same river.

Live your life so that your epitaph could read --- "No Regrets"

Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the
things you didn't do more than the one's you did.

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to
acknowledge those who helped you.

Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.

Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital, you need to only
stay a few minutes.

Once in a while, take the scenic route.

Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.

Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas
sometimes strike at 3 a.m.

Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how
trivial their job.

Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.

Become someone's hero.

Marry only for love.

Count your blessings.

Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.

Wave at the children on a school bus.

Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your
ability to deal with people.

Don't expect life to be fair

Wierd Day

Woke up at 6:00 am in the morning as I did sleep early last night. After then I don't remember if I was dreaming or I was thinking awake. I saw a girl who came and told her name Rakshlakshmi (never heard that in real). And said some pleasing words. That's all I remember out of the blur. She was on other side of a row of tables. And standing quite close to me. And said that she lives in Noida somewhere. And it felt like she was trying to say something. But it was either she couldn't say or I missed it. Can't recall properly. Whatever.

Then got up at 7:15. All the the thoughts running through my head. Taught in the PHI class. still couldn't forget the deliema. Still trying to find out an answer. And still unable to do it. What is IT? With all these thoughts wrote a little passage in my diary:
Binding my existance to the world.
All the world around me and all the reasons and wisdoms and ill-wisdoms are not enough to let me believe that Moksha theory is untrue.
For those who say nothing happens for just like that, nothing is without a reason, without a purpose of itself, I say then what is the purpose of our existance? If you say earning or learning of (as most say) being a professional or anything that a person may set for himself, is his purpose, then it is something you WANT. You yourself decided that you wil be/have what you want. How can this be purpose of life. This is the perpose of something which you say "I" and I say "you". Isn't it different from "life".
Such purpose changes from purson to person whereas the life which runs in you, runs through all of them, binds them all to the earth, and it makes them feel like living .
This is all what is reasoned out by me. But is the thing which I called life same as what Indian Philosophers called ATMA- soul- self. This is still a mystry. But all the happenings to me, my concience and my reasoning, and the world around me are conspiring together to make me belive: YES..

Heard that my camera is back at home and I will be having it back here by Sunday. A neighbour of me is visiting IIT Kanpur with his daughter for some work. Mom will send the camera and a sweater by him
After that did with the Materils lab. Came to CC, opened my print account. Had an extremely long chat-session with Vinay Srivastava. Hope he is reading all this. Please don't mind my posting your picture. He was a kind of "dar gaya" on reading all the things which I had in my head and the blogspot.

Saucy the poet!

When I was returning to home in the morning in the train this time
Somehow I took a pen and found a piece of paper and started writing.

Then what I wrote was was strange even to me. A sonet! Hai! Ye kaise ho gaya. Once Mrs. Gandhi told us the definition of poetry as spontaneous flow of emotions of heart through the pen. It can't completly disagree with the statement
The lines were thoda bakwas but I got rythming ones. Here it is:

Now I can see the change
Earlier which was out of my range.
I can see the birds flying free
Conversation of the wind and the leaves high on the tree.
I can hear what every cattle passing by me had to say to me for so long,
Buzzing of bees and birds singing song.
The cloud is not there only to seal,
It seams it has some special appeal.
When I look at cirrus, I try to find
The perplexion, the confusion similar to one in my mind.
I look back at the doom from which I have evolved,
But there is too much left to be resolved.
Now I feel how each moment is blessed apon us,
Now I understand why somebody said God is within us.

Also produced a testimonial for Asif. Goes like this:

Asif bhai. The one with "most-wanted assets" in our wing. Famous for large amount of comic database in his G drive. Can blow up anyone with those pranks! Easy to compete, difficult to beat and impossible to cheat. Good at befriending people, specially gals. (remember Priya Sharma).
Someone with infinite enthusiasm to be on top. You can call him a Future-Planner. Usually emotionally strong but feels broken at times, needs someone to collect the bits and rebuild a 3-quarters-kgs Asif.
May you achive your goal in life.
Good Luck!
Saurabh Chawdhary

Abhi bhi something seems missing! Thats not the exact Asif for you. I'll wait for the ideas. Because ideas come spontaneously!