I have time to kill. :P Not 'it is a time to kill'.
Can anybody suggest me ways to kill time?
I need to kill time before I go home. On 16th.
I have time to kill. :P Not 'it is a time to kill'.
Can anybody suggest me ways to kill time?
I need to kill time before I go home. On 16th.
I was the dog yesterday since it was my day. I got placed 5 days before I wanted. I was selected 5 days before my dream company was to visit. So is it a good thing to be placed before what you wished or bad?
But at the end of the day Oracle application development group is not a bad company to work in if you want to start a career in software.
All the time I studied turbo machinery, power plant engineering, fluid mechanics, manufacturing, thermodynamics and finally no use for placements. But I never got a chance to show this knowledge. :) Even for this company I prepared nothing in the name of IT. Only 2-3 hours preparation on the day of the interview. Only few simple questions were asked which I answered somehow. More than half of the interview was on this project which I had done in 2nd year - StockSim. I think this really impressed them and bought the offer.
Is it possible to go back to core field after working in software industry. I guess not. I have 6 months left to make a decision. I wanted to work in core mechanical engineering sector. But at the same time I know that I enjoy programming and I can do good in this industry. Seems like I tough decision to make given the condition that I already have one good start-up kit in my basket for software industry. Wherever I go I'll just try to be good in whatever I do.
So things coming closer and closer and becoming inevitable. Updates are that I appeared in two of the written tests.
1) JPMC - went quite decent. Not great. attempted 16/21 in Data Interpretation section and 27/30 in Verbal Section (GRE has done some good!). Hope to get through this one.
2) Oracle: This was disaster. In the name of 'basic computer science' they asked questions based on jargons of Database and Binary Trees. I did fairly if compared to zero but pathetic with reference to maximum. Very dim chance. only if they have to take non-CSE.
Next is an interview schedule on Dec.1. And this one is very big name. Daimler India. Although I'm reluctant to work in automobiles (neither do I have good chance) but it may be good warm-up interview. Couple of aptitude tests on 1st and 3rd Dec. for Fair Isaac and ZS.
Next updates might take a little more time. :) Hope to post as employed person soon.
Forgot to mention that there was live performance by Pt. Hari Prasad Chaurasia. Although marred by inferior sound system of the inst-auditorium he put up an awesome show!
Winter chill is setting in the region where I live - Gangetic plains. The season calls for playing what I'm adept at - being lazy. I go partial hibernation like cold blooded animals.
Few days back my sis asked for my blog URL. Yesterday I gave the URL. Today I was asked about This is it as it was? :P
The placement season is also setting in. With little preparation till now let's see what best I can get. Schedule for first week is out. Not very exciting scenario.
There is lot left to prepare. Hope to get it before my D-day. Still no clue which day it might be. From the look of things I would like it to be Day 7 or day 8 of placements. Companies of my choice are visiting on day 7,8,11. Second preference companies are scheduled before that. But can I take a chance to leave others in the beginning. A choice to make. No, I guess. :(
Well, I'll just settle on get-whatever-comes-and-try-to-do-well-wherever-you-go and keep things simple. Take life as it comes attitude. Optimism! Ohh.. but it may not necessarily be Optimum. :|
Words offer the means to meaning and for those who listen the enunciation of truth and the truth is that there is something terribly wrong with this country. We have suffered for it in the past and few people among us, called politicians by some, are taking us back to the same history. India suffered at the hands of foreign invaders because there was no 'India' as such. There existed a conglomeration of multitude of kingdoms. The identities were with kingdoms and not with nation. That made possible the divide and rule. That was why a civilization thousands of years old was plundered and conquered.
Today most of us, even the most educated and/or urban ones would identify themselves with anything but our country. Prominent among them are caste (ages old) and region(new one). While the former is politically most efficacious in northern India, the later is in southern part. Caste based voting is an unsaid rule in most part of India. The phenomena is observed without exception in rich/poor and educated/uneducated. Factually speaking Maratha Empire (a great and highly revered among all Indians) was not spread all over India. Even when at its peak it reached till Meerut. Yet there are multiple instances of people claiming Martha identity rather than Indian. If at all we require an icon for INDIA then it is Ashoka who held the largest empire in India. Precisely that is why we have that symbol in our national flag.
Now that we have a country 'INDIA' these self proclaimed saviors of pride, so-called leaders are driving Her into the same abyss! Its not only the fault of leaders. They will do whatever gains them votes. Certainly there are those who are more responsible than others, 'but again, truth be told if you are looking for guilty you need only to look into a mirror'. They corrupted our reason and robbed us of our common sense. Things like caste, regionalism and the associated pride are just a matter of mental construction. Tell me what good has pride brought to any mortal. Often have we heard that saying 'Pride comes before fall'. Time and again we hear invidious comments and fall trap to the demagogues.Tomorrow (or today.. as it's 3:30 a.m. already) is my last class at IITK. Monday is my last end-sem exam at IITK. Looking back, I think it was quite fun with all those high stress days during end-sems. Amid all the tensions we used to manage time for frivolous activities. It was among these times that orkut was visited most frequently. How can we forget the good old IITian 'top rat3d Mangoes' community. And that midsem sting operation during first sem was awesome thing! We also captured them visually digitally. I remember after an exam during end-sem I used 'Gunda' - the legendary movie (see the review) as stress buster. We watched Gunda twice back to back! Now that's some feat. All due courtesies to mid-sems & end-sem.
The learning was to see the enjoyable moments in spite of loathsome tasks. Performing under stress: that's what IIT system teaches you.
Although it should be noted that not all our peers were able endure it. Some chose to end themselves. And the numbers have been increasing after 2005. A total of 8 successful and 4 (or more may be) unsuccessful attempts. May they rest in peace.
Its month of November. Normally it used to be a haunted time because of the end of semester and concomitant exams. But this year it is different. Only one final exam ( on 16/09). All the worries are reserved for the placement season starting from 1 dec.
When we entered IIT one thing was assured - we would get a good job. From vocation guarantee place to a life transforming place. The POV has changed. I have learnt most important lessons of life at this place. But still what is expected at the end of academic career is a good vocation. The decisive time has come.
What is money? Originally it was supposed to be a medium of exchange assumed as a deferred payment. But I doubt how many will answer this if asked.
I am at a place where if counted the total worth of all the people around me (read as students in my campus) that they would have 10 years from hence would be tremendously large! And possibly their average will be much above what an average person would conceive as rich. I've heard people around me being obsessed with earning money and its comeuppances. Many of them. Probably they are that smart to amass a lot of it. They argue: who denies money is power? Money may be power but then is it happiness as is generally deemed to be? Happiness is a fastidious fish which can not be fished with money's bait.
Some of our mates have the idea that by having a lot of money they will have everything they want in life. One of my mates said today 'I am going to U.S. next year, I will have a lot of money, all the girls around me at my disposal, marry any girl of my choice. You will have nothing for you. What will you make with the meager you earn? You will not be able to satisfy your wife and children. How will you be able to make a family with that?' It was really upsetting to hear that. They think that with all the money they can satisfy themselves and in that hope continue on with the process. They generally assume that money brings happiness. But that argument is a spurious one. In fact miles short from reality. If you conduct an who-is-happy survey then probably it will show no correlation with money.
The assumption that you will be happy when you have a lot of money is a flawed one. Has it ever been tried and tested? I mean have you ever heard anybody saying 'Look here, I have all the money I wanted. Now I am the happiest I can be. Lets call it a day.' The basis of the conclusion is only previous occurrences in counting which they have left out certain other contributing factors also. Most of the time it is just taken as a premise. What is usually forgotten with the power that money brings with it, it brings the power to mask you as happy. After they have yearned and earned for so long it is not apposite of wealthy men to not be happy. And because of this deep rooted flawed conviction that money brings happiness they are forced into an assumption of happiness which again acts as corroboration of the same fact for others.
Obviously money is considered as a 'value' is our society and I am no sociopath. It's not bad to have money. Even I want money. Earning money is a value but fantasized and obsessed with it is not a good idea at all. May be someday I will also turn into money-obsessed social animal. But certainly I am not like one right now. I need only that much I need. Somehow I cannot appreciate the idea of having 'a lot of money'. What is that to which 'lot' refers to. Ideally a lot implies an interminable source. But in all ways that is unattainable. The key, according to me, is to strike a balance between your needs and your wants. Otherwise, like I said, the ends are open.
Post GRE life gives a feeling of recumbent! :)
Sunday was TOEFL day. Four of us hired a taxi and left campus early morning for Lucknow. What a humdrum test! 4 and half hours of testing. Towards the last section, which happened to be essay writing, it grew like one of those prosaic lectures. I was disinclined to type at all. But like every other thing in life it had to pass.
Now it's time to gear up for one more challenge. Placement season starts December 1. Seems like good lot of companies are recruiting from Mech. department. :)
Meanwhile I came about this article about IITians which shouts of verisimilitude of the situation. All this written is so true! I'll copy and paste some excerpts.
Life is not at all at peace amongst all the crisis which is characteristic of post GRE of every common IITian. Apprehension of leaving home etc. And I'm now very much disinclined to do so.
It has been years I'm living out of home but still why did Momma wept this time when I left today. I know the answer. She knew. And She also knows that I know. But nothing need to be said. It's unsaid communication. She is having qualms of things which usually follow GRE exam. At times I myself start feeling xenophobic. These things contribute to my mercurial state of mind.
Best words to describe me now again is indecisive. I've been vacillating between decisions. But at the current moment I am very much disinclined to go for doctorate. Since future states of mind are not known it would be expedient to go with the process of application, painstaking although it may be.
Furthering the lies ahead preparation for taking TOEFL test on 25th October. Since I got a good score in GRE, to keep the promise I made it is incumbent to apply to 6 universities. It's very tempting to cheat on this promise.
While still in hibernation I'm going home :)
For a relatively long break. 6 days.
Diwali at home. Exam at home. Happening days to come in life.
I've been performing between 1300-1400, as displayed in my mock test transcripts, while the target was 1400+. All I need is a good day. It depends quite on luck also. And RC is somewhat giving me scares. almost 50+ % of wrong answers are in RC section.
Happy Diwali to all of you! May God bless everyone with health and wealth they deserve. Coz often we deserve more than we wish!
I'm hibernating for the sake of an exam which requires to mug up some (3500+) really nasty looking horrendous words-meanings.
Mock test performance had not been something to cheer about. So I need to reinforce the preparation.
Nevertheless I'll try to steal moments here and there to peek at blogger.
And I've got registered for TOEFL too. 25th Oct.
:(
Bye bye blogger.
(A funny link http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/06/business/global/06milk.html?_r=2)
When was the last time you saw a movie that ended on a sad note? This afghan movie titles 'Majboor' in hindi is a doleful representation of the realities of Afghan women.
Again the theme has no ingenuity in it but the fact that it sprung from the people of the country touches hearts and asks for applaud.
Afghan people are spending harsh life with dim or no hope. Worse for women. But in some sense partly they themselves are responsible for it. Reasons apart they are seeing the dark part of life.
(P.S.- part 1 loads slowly. Later parts work fine.)
Sometimes, at some point in life, out of two choices the one that is pleasing and beatific and the one that is feasible are not the same. They might be poles apart. By poles apart I mean there seems no midway between them. You have to decide either to go with the first choice or not.
Of course you want the first choice because it is the pleasing one and the one that you 'want'. But it is not feasible, at least ostentatiously. You are left with only one option which is feasible.
The more you think the more precarious your situation becomes. So may be its better to stop writing and engage in other things so that you don't get to think about it. That's what I have been trying from quite some time (a year may be). But inadvertently you get back to it spasmodically. There are fits I'm inflicted with at times. And the best way is to write them off. Each time it's reflected in blogs.
Best thing as seems now is to get a sleep and start afresh tomorrow. With wordlist 42. [:|]
Signing off...
"Don't want to cry when there's people there
I get shy when they start to stare
I'm gonna hide myself away, ay hay
But I'll come back again someday"
Last few days I was out of blogger. My laptop was down. Heating problem. The reason as it appeared later was blockage due to dust collection in front of fan. This is a design flaw in all Dell Inspiron 1525s. But very happy with the Dell's policy of using bomb to kill mouse. They changed my 2GB RAM, heat sink, and motheroard. Not to mention under warranty cover. Only grievance is the motherboard is a refurbished one.
And with the laptop I was also down in spirits. Although these two things don't have correlation. Part of the reason may be that I came close to being thrashed by my supervisor for the crime of duplicating an assignment. But fortunately it was spared of the embarrassment.
I've been lagging a bit in wordlists. But hope to catch the wind soon.
Now I'm up again. On high!
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.
OK people so its time for confessions. Questions will be posed, comments will be hit and banters will be pulled. But it has to come sooner or later. After all it's an auto-blogo-graphy. It ought to have every episode in my life.
I don't know how it happens but yes truly there are no Rules of Attraction. It can be said after some concessions (1 or 2) that practically I have not met her but why do I always have a corner for her. She shares some space in my thoughts. It started a year after we met. In the year earlier to that I never felt similar to what happened latter. But why? No answer. I cannot answer. I don't even know if there exists an answer. I just know that there was this amorphous connection with her.
May be its just that I admire her qualities and because she is a girl I'm feeling like that. I admire many people around me for many things. May be it is because it is for the first time I have known any girl so close. May be because I have not been exposed to the company of opposite sex much. (The 'not much' in the above sentence can be interpreted as never if the criteria for exposure is made more rigorous.) I always felt that there are thousands unexplored acquaintances/relations in this world. May be this was only one of thousands. Anyways the feeling was unusual. But I'm not here to brainstorm the reasons.
She knows about what I feel. This happened so because I simply told her what I felt. In the same way as I'm telling here now. Through a post. So what is next thing to come. I'm just waiting for the agitation to settle down. I'm waiting from something around less than a year. And in the meantime we have come one full circle. We've argued, fought, stopped talking and then started afresh. Thereafter never discussed on the same matter again. Just left it untouched.
So what is the current stage of development. I am a hardcore optimist and believe that I will be happy in whatever condition at whatever price. There are very few things which can bind me to deficiencies and consequently yearnings. Season is gone and things fade away with time. I'm settled into my good old life. It was kinda teenager-ish stuff. I don't know how it came into being but so was it. I'll not lie that it wasn't. There is no shame in telling truth.
Everything happened much earlier. It just never struck my mind that I should write a summary of events in a post. Okey, that's not 100% truth (:P). But you can't figure out the mess while into it. Elevated I can look back (and laugh) and define what it was. As of now I'm not really after her and at the same time do not ignore her. To translate I do not tend to call her up frequently but attend or callback if she called (on cellphone). And we are still very good friends and share many things with each other.
I considered adding more texts and references but to abridge what is in my mind will take time and since I have to devote it to many other things, which I recently undertook, I decided against it.
(P.S. to those who know her name. I don't like put named reference on my blogs for some reasons. From my best mates to acquaintances. No names.)
Officially I'm half way through the barron's lists. But learning by heart requires repeated efforts and that requires time. But as for the first effort it's done! As per game plan it's up to maximum of 20. For the 25 lists left. That's too few...
Once again me and a friend on one more decisive night came to an important decision that we should try and maintain conversation in our second language in the wake of imminent placement season. It spur from a statement of mine that we should try and uphold the tradition that our wing-mates started last year. Tradition of good WPR (wing placements result). Speaking in language other is never as expressive as mother tongue. It's not that I'm not comfortable but I'm used to listening in that style. Its more about style rather than language. And that style can only come in one way which is natural to us. Hitler said: In times of war no man is civilian. So in times as these no one needs to play himself. We need to be what corporates want us to be. And that is 'highly trained professionals'.
::Just a thought. Or rather realization: Best moment to be happy is now! If you don't learn to be happy now then you can never be happy. Because every moment is now.
Few days back my cellphone stopped speaking. All of a sudden it went completely mute. It took some time before I got chance to get it repaired. But it's no longer dumb!
I'm on list 21. It has been over a month now and still not half way through! That seems daunting. But now choices have dwindled away with time. I have to but study.
The game plan is to finish with barron's list in this month or early(first 5 days) next month. And then start with exhaustive mock test taking, practicing analytical writing and quantitative part.
But you know what happens when there are two deadlines to one task. It is deemed as one in the end. Let's see what happens this time. That was because with the amount of input as I'm giving it seems less realistic to attain the first one. Nevertheless I will have dushehra holidays in between during which I've decided NOT to go home.(not in bold :D )
By the way I am thinking of posting a something which may bring me embarrassment and chaffing but may form a good read. I'm not sure whether I should post it here or not.
And finally I registered for gre test in exchange of lot of money. Now I am supposed to get more serious about wordlist mugging. 33 more to go! The date is 21 Oct. Not too far. People say that RC (Reading Comprehension) section gave them blues. It is the most tricky one. Need to practice on that.
Our first stipend deposit is awaited. Waiting for the amount. Then register for TOEFL as well. Now that Im doing it I'll do it sincerely. Whatever I may decide but I will not leave any room so as to regret later. It's good to have an offer and reject than trying half-heartedly and getting complacent with the meagre result. So i'll try, instead.
Time to show some sport and get up to challenges.
Sometime it feels really weird. And this time it feels like it's sometime. Just because you have to do something and you don't know how to go about it. Or what to do with it. Whatever. It's bit quandary out here. Thinking it over and over again. I need to act promptly.
Go Go Go!!!
Its gone all wrong. I used to sleep in mornings. Sleepless nights. It is a bad practice. So in an attempt to mend it I've made worse of it. Yesterday I slept at 10 at night and thought it would be a good change to wake up in the morning. But then I woke up in the mid of night at 2 a.m. after an weird dream. Tried to contemplate but couldn't sleep for next one hour. So I wake up and brush. Study for an hour. Go jogging. Go bathing. Go M.T. Still no sign of sleep. Breakfast at 9. But still no sign. Finally I fall at 11. And played dead till 2.
And guess what. This day same thing repeats. At least till this time of 3:20 a.m. How do i mend it. If there is need to.
Once again started wordlist and moved on to 13 after a long time. Exam tomorrow. I'll start preparation in the evening.
BTW I had my first class on Wednesday. I took english class in stead of a friend of mine who unfortunately caught jaundice and took a break. It was a nice experience. People were anxious to know things. Not like us sitting like deadpan in class. Most of them of our age group. Next class on Saturday. Maths this time.
I've got hold of a 5x5x5 cube which Im able to solve with two edge pieces reversed or more technically with one edge parity. I need to figure out how to resolve the edge parity. I just need some time for it. May be this weekend.
Our first installment (of 3 months) of stipend to be posted end of this month. Lots of money. Unsure what to do with these. Earlier planned to buy DSLR camera Nikon D60 kit. Reviews suggest that its a good entry level DSLR with optical anti-shake technology. But now I need bucks for GRE and TOEFL and who knows for applications too. So I've held the idea in abeyance.
Now the wordlist count has come to halt as shown by the roll count at the top. Most of the time these days goes in a website that Im developing. Struggling with the rusty IE 6 browser which behaves annoyingly and incompatibly with many CSS feature. Why the hell people use such browser. We must declare it sinful to use IE in these modern times.
Next up I'll be talking classes in maths/computer in an organization of our institute which trains people in basic computer, maths and English. Probably after next week or so.
Also mid-sem exam is coming this week. This time its not when-are-exams-starting. Its just when-is-exam. Only one course. [:)]
SPO has started its activity and the season for PPTs and resumes have started. I too will have to go through inevitable and pathetically boring task of making resume. In other words it's self-bragging on MS-word. Buying yourself a black coat suit, long sleeved shirts, black leather shoes and packing yourself in all these. It's all part of the process I'll have to go through in the next few months. Karega bhai karega. Naukri ke liye kuchh bhi karega (Translation: everything to be done for job).
In all these tasks the gre thing got overshadowed. And the will for gre also. Till now I'm not registered. There is no harm in research but the thought of me living out there with once-a-year visit threatens my mind to think in that direction. Let us hope that I have enough thought, reason, courage and will to appear for it. Or not appear for it. Whatever is good. Ohh. By the way does it sound something like 'I Used to Be Indecisive But Now I'm Not So Sure'. Wait, I have a snap of it!
Its birthday time again.for I have seen 23 17 Augusts in my life. Birthday came and went. Each year. Year by year. And I only grew older. And wiser i must say in usual sense of the word.
Parents visited me this time. Gifts and all was quite nice. Btw I bought myself a gift this time. New Dunlop Blackmax Carbon 520 squash racket. So I finally get rid of the old Aluminum body racket. New one weighs only 140 gms! Although 2006 manufactured it is brand new in usage. It was good to have Rs.1800 discount on it anyway. Reviews suggest that it is specialized in power shots but has a disadvantage too. Its grip is not as per expectation. The rubber is wearing leaving powdered particles in hand which act as lubricant (as we studied in ME461 small particles can act as lubricant) . This forbids a firm grip. Let's hope it settles down quickly otherwise I'll need to change the grip.
No progress on wordlists.
Need to learn web development using ajax/jsp.
Let's wind our clocks 61 years ago. Imagine the aura that must have prevailed in the new rising country. But as I think of those celebrations it reminds me of the concomitant havoc the treat of independence brought with it for the two daughter countries. Millions faced the blades of millions. Millions displaced. And millions wept for them. The carnage was such that it would shame the cruelest of murderers.
Yet millions were celebrating. Yet the newspaper headlines read: "One-sixth of human race get independence". Yet Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru became Prime Minister. Yet the Brits claim credit of power transfer. What was transfered? Power? If yes then it got dissipated in the process of transfer. And the dissipated power exploded in the form of violence and hurt very people it was transfered to.
The celebration of independence was marred by the violence the engulfed millions for most people. But for others the independence meant execution not in British rule but in self-rule, if by any definition there a tint 'rule'. From then year after year people celebrate independence and year by year the marring of celebration is lessened. But for me it always reminds me of the people for whom independence meant death. It brings a bad taste always.
The Brits expulsion from country is many times referred to as Shameful Flight. As for my belief the largest share of this shame should be credited to Mountbatten. The undue celerity he showed in making decisions was the core of it. And if not half then at least partly the shame is shared by Indian leaders who were so hesitant to partition before Mountbatten and just as he stepped in everything seemed running for them. At least they should have foreseen the aftermaths. For Pt. Nehru himself said that: It was difficult to decide the best way of transfer but for what's happening now I can say this was certainly not.
Yes. I've found something to work on. Mugging up wordlists for GRE. Not very interesting though. To much of everybody surprise I'm giving GRE. Everybody is either preparing for CAT or GRE. May be because they want to play safe with an extra option than relying on SPO for placement. And in the times such as now someone getting placed for a job is not a frequently occurring phenomena. So it be. I'll also play safe. At least it keeps me busy.
Squash coaching started this Wednesday. And this time in the morning 7 A.M. Now that means getting up early morning. Implies sleeping early at night. Implies very difficult thing to be regular.
Thesis is dull as used it used to be and with only three lectures a week I'm left with affluence to prepare for GRE. Doing one wordlist per day is not bad. Whole 50 in 50 days. Sounds good.
By the way I'm reminded of a considerable achievement of mine. Into fifth year of stay at IITK and still alive! That's not a certain event. Statistically speaking that's not 100% probable event. Unfortunately in last 4 years seven unfortunate people have failed to do so. All of them chose to end it rather. A few others attempted but couldn't succeed. A most recent attempt came few days before. What a pity of this institute and what a sad end to those so-called cream-of-the nation. And what bad name it brings to institute. But authorities still shamelessly lying in everyone's face.
Also this seems to be month of idleness. Earlier in first 4 years of my graduation it was loads of courses. Always pinned between deadlines. Extra stress. Lots to do. But now its only one course and thesis work which is not so heavy. There is lots of free time. Im not getting ways to kill time. Just wasting it away.
I need something consuming. Something to work on. By sitting free I'm growing degenerate. I'm doing nothing but aging. This day I was thinking that I should start preparing for something. May be GRE or CAT. GRE seems a better option. But a bit costly. CAT will take nowhere but management. I do not want to close the option of working in my field for which I have dedicated 5 invaluable years of my life. I don't want to waste it.
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends
I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
there is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
"I have not failed 100 times. I have discovered 100 new ways how I cannot succeed."