OK people so its time for confessions. Questions will be posed, comments will be hit and banters will be pulled. But it has to come sooner or later. After all it's an auto-blogo-graphy. It ought to have every episode in my life.
I don't know how it happens but yes truly there are no Rules of Attraction. It can be said after some concessions (1 or 2) that practically I have not met her but why do I always have a corner for her. She shares some space in my thoughts. It started a year after we met. In the year earlier to that I never felt similar to what happened latter. But why? No answer. I cannot answer. I don't even know if there exists an answer. I just know that there was this amorphous connection with her.
May be its just that I admire her qualities and because she is a girl I'm feeling like that. I admire many people around me for many things. May be it is because it is for the first time I have known any girl so close. May be because I have not been exposed to the company of opposite sex much. (The 'not much' in the above sentence can be interpreted as never if the criteria for exposure is made more rigorous.) I always felt that there are thousands unexplored acquaintances/relations in this world. May be this was only one of thousands. Anyways the feeling was unusual. But I'm not here to brainstorm the reasons.
She knows about what I feel. This happened so because I simply told her what I felt. In the same way as I'm telling here now. Through a post. So what is next thing to come. I'm just waiting for the agitation to settle down. I'm waiting from something around less than a year. And in the meantime we have come one full circle. We've argued, fought, stopped talking and then started afresh. Thereafter never discussed on the same matter again. Just left it untouched.
So what is the current stage of development. I am a hardcore optimist and believe that I will be happy in whatever condition at whatever price. There are very few things which can bind me to deficiencies and consequently yearnings. Season is gone and things fade away with time. I'm settled into my good old life. It was kinda teenager-ish stuff. I don't know how it came into being but so was it. I'll not lie that it wasn't. There is no shame in telling truth.
Everything happened much earlier. It just never struck my mind that I should write a summary of events in a post. Okey, that's not 100% truth (:P). But you can't figure out the mess while into it. Elevated I can look back (and laugh) and define what it was. As of now I'm not really after her and at the same time do not ignore her. To translate I do not tend to call her up frequently but attend or callback if she called (on cellphone). And we are still very good friends and share many things with each other.
I considered adding more texts and references but to abridge what is in my mind will take time and since I have to devote it to many other things, which I recently undertook, I decided against it.
(P.S. to those who know her name. I don't like put named reference on my blogs for some reasons. From my best mates to acquaintances. No names.)
3 comments:
awww sooo sweet :) ...so this was it? wow.. u dont hav to b guilty. come on... this is so sweet..!!! U shud probably write more of these things on ur blog yaar.. too good.
Go Saucy go go !! :)
I am happy that my hunch was right :)
Waise what was that earlier post that you talked abt ?
Yes. as the title says. This is it. :)
Its not guilty kind of thing yaar. kinda awkward to me. Might be common to ppl of my age bracket. But not me. It's just I was never placed in such quandary before. Not even in my teens which is when ppl r more susceptible to such things.
@neophyte. Dint get ur question but have I answered it anyway?
Good to see u ppl liking it. :) But Im afraid dont have more. Will write it if I happen to have more later. :P
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