There truely are no rules of attraction. Freakin thing!

http://neophytespeaks.blogspot.com/2009/08/rules-of-attraction.html

I am not 31 yet

Freaking funny article about single guys of marriage-able age with poking Moms! (like mine) :)
I can partly relate to it.



Although I am not 31, or have a pseudo-liberal Mom (she is non-conservative liberal), or have a girlfriend but it is still hilarious read. :)

http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/31-male-and-not-yet-there/article5929265.ece

Run

I ran in a timed run yesterday after long long time. Minneapolis Hot Chocolate run. At the finish line we were treated with hot chocolate fondue, chocolate drink and sweat treats. Enough motivation to run 5 kilometres!

I couldn't have prepared worse for the race. I didn't run in the week leading to it. Didn't properly do exercises either. The previous night we had a heavy dinner at Egyptian place. I ate all I could. Then bonfire outside by Mississippi until 2. Which meant only 4 hours of sleep before run with stomach full of Egyptian food.When arrived at the race venue I realized I forgot to bring my race bib number. So my run world not be timed. By my watch I think I finished 30-31 minutes.

Anyway the weather in next two weeks looks much better. Hopefully no more snow. I'm planning for a half marathon at the end of summer. August sometime.

:((

Lately I'm being lazy for no reason. I am a lazy person in general. Not to say that I lack motive. Laziness is not same as lack of motive in life. I have a motivation. I want to graduate with PhD :)
"See, laziness as you know is like gravity. All it takes is a little push. Ahhahahah". Dark Knight anyone?

But this week hasn't been so good. I had a not-so-good meeting with advisor where I realized that there is a lot more left to be done. This means at least another 2+ years left. Don't want to put blame on anyone. My adviser is usually more elusive than ninja. I wanted to have this meeting much earlier. But this guy is always travelling. On an earlier occasion when we met my 'objectives' were different than what I have now and I squandered some time figuring that out. All in all it is not that much okay to have a PhD advisor who doesn't see you much one-on-one. I used to think otherwise earlier. Ahh, sigh. But that's life, growing up. Evolution of your thoughts. I am still thankful that I have an advisor like him. (He pays me after all).

I've also been wasting too much time over other things which I thought I will never do. Ahh, sigh. That's the irony of life. We are all still humans and we cannot be programmed (as of yet).

At some point I have to start painting the blank canvas. I cannot just go on ignoring it forever for the fear of spoiling it. I chose a very difficult painting with lot of perfectly worked out details. May be I should just start doing it without much in mind and see where it goes. Like abstract art!

I feel much better after writing all this. Good enough to make me get out of bed and start the day. Have a good day folks.

Being myself

I am stressed out today but swamped with too much work at once to feel anything. Not very often but there actually are moments when I get fed up of being the strong-independent-all-by-myself self. But then I can't afford to do that for long in the fear of falling behind. I have to get back to being that same self. May be I can take one day break from it. Or rather not. What about the deadline tomorrow then? I can't decide what to do today. But I will survive it too to see another fine day tomorrow.

That's called Piled higher and Deeper.

I am a rock

"I am a rock, I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries."
--Simon & Garfunkel

I've played this song like 100 times in last few days. A cool website to do this: https://www.listenonrepeat.com/

Happy Holi

Happy Holi all readers. It's never spring in spring in Minnesota so never felt like Holi. We will probably do our Holi when weather warms a little but more.
April some time.

Grad school

Grad school is the kind of place which can mess up with your inside, if you not keep track of yourself. However much you work often it feels like you are not doing enough. You are not making enough efforts. There is always much more you can do or you could have done. So much to do, so much to learn.
And then there are times when you wonder whether what you are doing really matters. Does anyone care about it? Does it really makes a difference? Why are you doing this? This feeling very aptly summarized bellow by phdcomics.



To take it to extreme some would feel they are not entitled to having fun at all. Any time they catch themselves not working it feels guilty of some sort. Then I discovered it is not a singleton behaviour. There are multitudes of us.

So what is it that helps get around some of such stuffs? You would not guess: thorough literature review. I was reading a lot of previous works related to simulation of flow around marine and hydrokinetic turbines in natural river flows and to be honest I was tiny bit surprised that how little has been done. I came across really crappy published papers in random ass conferences getting 20-30+ citations within an year. There was also a published study about the same topic in Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society A which looked like a conference paper worth of work. All of which makes what I plan to do (assuming I successfully do it, or plan to attempt) more important than I thought.

SIGH... Back to Work!

Yay!

I am so excited at this moment but no moment to get away with high excitation. :(
I'm finally taking three weeks break in June two of which will be in India to attend my sister's wedding. Yes, my sister is getting married!
In the meanwhile I'm trying to finish my preliminary exam which consists of writing a 30 page proposal. Basically justyfying a committee of 4 profs that my PhD is worth doing. And what I am contributing to existing set of knowledge and how it will change the world. Stuff like that.
Point of matter is I am working like an ass to finish writing it. Mostly because I am very inefficient when it comes to writing. I spend a lot of time trying to frame sentences and write only this much. I set my personal deadline of mid-march. Looks like it will go missed. But I'm trying hard. It will be some sigh of relief. I want to get done with it so that I can feel excited about my trip without worries. And then go there without less load when the time comes.
Good nighty!

Geeta saar

Following are some of the age old wisdom found in Indian mythology. When I was young, in teen I remember, I used to buy a brand of notebook for school which always carried same back cover. I read that over several times and it stayed in my top rack for some reason. Now that I look back I believe it did shape me in some ways, the way I think or things I believe. Consciously or subconsciously, I don't know. Here is what back cover read like:

Translated in English, in the same order, it goes like:

• WHATEVER HAPPENED WAS GOOD
• WHATEVER IS HAPPENING IS GOOD
• WHATEVER WILL HAPPEN WILL ALSO BE GOOD
• WHAT HAVE YOU PARTED WITH THAT MAKES YOU CRY ?
• WHAT DID YOU BRING WITH YOU THAT YOU HAVE LOST ?
• WHAT DID YOU CREATE WHICH IS NOW DESTROYED ?
• WHAT YOU HAVE TAKEN, YOU HAVE TAKEN ONLY FROM HERE.
• WHAT WAS GIVEN WAS GIVEN ONLY FROM HERE.
• WHAT IS YOURS TODAY, WAS SOMEONE ELSE'S YESTERDAY, WILL BE SOMEONE ELSE'S TOMORROW.

CHANGE IS THE LAW OF THE UNIVERSE

Image and translation adapted from someone else's personal page here.

Good night!

20s

Twenties is the decade of your life when

-You will be who you have wanted to be and who you will be for the most of your remaining life.

-You will sort out the mess generally known as quarter-life crisis.

-You will find answer to most puzzling questions about life. You will give-up on on the ones unanswered.

-You will  hangout most with the person you go everywhere with. Yourself.

-You will come face-to-face with your loneliness and maybe learn to embrace it. Is duniyan me akele hi aae the aur akele hi jana hai. Said so Lord Krishna.


(Disclaimer: Above applies for the central band of people distribution curve. Extrema may be safely excluded. Views are based on authors personal experience, observations and readings. The list is not exaustive.)

Man in black

I've been introduced to more artists lately by pandora. Johnny Cash's is a story which follows a tipsy turvy road. It's almost like a good drama movie. There is this song that hits me most in which he explains why he wears what he wears. He had this outlaw bad boy kind of image but he also stands up for the 'poor and the beaten down'. He would always wear black in public because as he explains:

"We're doing mighty fine I do suppose
In our streak of lightning cars and fancy clothes
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back
Up front there ought to be a man in black."

When you see all this war and suffering in the world you wonder where are those men who stand up front? As if the two deadly wars (Afghan and Iraq) were not enough killing for those-responsible-for-starting-war, there are innumerable suffering in Syria. While a lot of us in better doing part of world will never know what it is to be like in conflict zone, there is a whole generation learning survival skills in refugee homes. We can bask in glory of economic boom and scientific development but for many the achievements of the day are still primitive in nature. Getting food for today.

Well I don't want to sound like socio-path. It just happens sometimes when certain things happen in certain order to lead me to this point. But amid all this darkness there are things that are bright too! Scrambling through the world news sometimes there are things which restore the positive belief. Like this one. Why do women outnumber men in technology in the Gulf? Compare this against Why are there so few female scientists? 
Percent of women in all tech entrepreneurs in Arab world is 35% compared to corresponding global of 10%. Not many would have predicted that. That's why I love technology. It stands fair. Unbiased

Cheer up, because tomorrow will to be worse

Optimism for pessimists:

Cheer up, because tomorrow will to be worse.

Stuff my Mom talks about

Last night I was talking to Mom on phone. Somehow we got into this topic and she starts talking about how our education, though necessary, is only one third part of our personality. One other part is your health and your body you should take care of it whatever you are blessed with. Some are blessed more than others but your credit is to what you maintain not what was not in your hand.
Then third part she said was mannerism. How humility is important to carry all times. And how you carry yourself in society, meet different people in society. And how it is important to meet all kinds of people.
My Mom is smarter than you would think. While this was in some other context she was taking down two birds with one stone. I sensed that there was something for me in all of this ;) Both of us had good laugh when I said this.

She had good reasons to say what she said to me. Last time I was living at home I was more interested in solving calculus problems than attending wedding parties. I explained that I don't want to go to parties where I don't know much people. Often I was excused because I was busy with my school stuff. I think I was still teenager then. Then I remember one of my first blog post about Acquaintance/Relationship unexplored about how many connections that we think can lead to a long-lasting friendships go unexplored because of external factors.

A lot has changed since then I would say. (Not that I am not interested in calculus any more, now I do that, and a lot more, on computer for a living). Mostly within last one year (or less) I think. Now I don't mind walking into a bunch of people I have never met before. I think I have starting liking all of this. Meeting new people and knowing more about them, trying to understand what went through there lives. It is like every person is a story and I try to understand what shaped one's story. I try to do that without being prying lest I sound like creep :) And along the way meet some great people and forge great friendships. Much of which might go unexplored otherwise.

Since last few times I talked to Mom, on more than one occasions I was also asked if I had 'special' friend. And then eventually the conversation goes to start-looking-a-girl-for-yourself. All I had to say in the end that I am thankful to be born in India and that I believe in arranged marriage. And that I believe everyone is good and I can make it work with whoever I end up with. All that said I am not totally ignoring the task. I am giving it some thought, albeit with minimal efforts.

Anyway there is a story may be I can share in next post. I learned one more thing while writing this blog. Writing a blog while cooking dinner is not a good idea. I'm going eat have half burnt spaghetti. Bon apetitte!

On Luck

Not believing in luck means not believing in chance. Not believing in chance means not believing in probability. And that, my friend, is a mathematical blunder!

That was my first thought. On second thought probability is not related to causality. Two events might me correlated but not necessarily reason for one another. As an example take the case of icecream and swimming deaths. The more icecream people eat the more number of people die swimming. But that does not mean icecream is causing swimming deaths. Obviously in summer people tend to swim more and they also eat more icecreams.

Questions

So I am not the only one faced with strange questions.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080224213502AAHLQO1

Here is another one:

http://www.menshealth.com/best-life/when-im-urinal-work-and-colleague?page=4

Blast into past

Often I will delve into past by going through really old posts in my blog. (I also do this sometimes by shuffling across my older digital photo collection). I wonder what kind of stupid person I was! How could I think like the way I thought. It is funny. But then I also emitted some wisdom intermittently. This comes from a 5 year old post:




"Many a time why are we not able to speak our hearts? Why are we forced by ourselves to unnecessarily draw the covers when we know they are transparent? From whom may we hide it when everybody is aware of the truth? Its just that we are not willing to accept the facts as the appear. By concealing it we are fooling ourselves into unreal world. Isn't it logically fallible!"

And another one. A bit poetic:

"I meet some people who hold my hand & they decide to walk with me. These people & their stay in my life I cannot foresee. Life for me is living in the present, cherishing what I receive ‘now’ from people & things. Let us let things shape up themselves."

I was here

 Aboard Liberty ship used in WW II

The Pacific

Streams

I remember reading Nitish Kumar (Bihar CM) long time back. After he has done some praiseworthy work in Bihar and people recognizing him he said something really thoughtful, which we don't generally expect from politicians in our country. He said that now there are two streams in Bihar, one of naysayers and other of believers. People who have hope and belief that things can indeed change for better. And this stream is getting broader.
At different time in different political scene this can be applied again to the stream Aam Aadmi Party has created. Rough estimate reported here says they spent 5% of what BJP or Congress spent for Delhi election 2013 . They actually stopped taking donations after hitting goal of INR 20 crores. This is the party which is selling a dream of clean and effective governance. They better live upto it. To expect them to be 100% ideal would not be fair. This is not a utopian world. Even if they deliver 80% of their promise, by comparison, they would be decisively better than most other political outfits out there.

So now we all have a choice again; to be part of one of the two streams. This is the point in time where the river divides. It is not too soon to make a call. I chose to be a believer. No good can happen unless we believe it can. There is not much good either in flowing with the other stream anyway.

"You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one. I hope some day you may join us."

Pile of dirt

Yesterday when I was cooking mustard greens I had to clean it. Like clean it thoroughly in running water. Whenever you cook green leafy vegetables make sure you clean them by immersing them in water. If you don't do it you eat some dirt with your food. Is it bad to eat a little bit of dirt? After all what are we? Pile of dirt held together by some biological processes.