I envy not

Following is a poem which will hopefully convince you to follow that whatever you desire in your heart. The love of having tried-and-failed versus having not-tried-at-all.

In Memorium Arthur Henry Hallam by Lord Alfred Tennyson
Canto XXVII

"I envy not in any moods
The captive void of noble rage,
The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods:

I envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter'd by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;

Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;
Nor any want-begotten rest.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

Thanks to great English teachers and all the poetry classes I took in high school that I can actually make sense of these classics. Mrs. Gandhi and Mrs. Chatterjee, thank you. It has taken me about six years to actually come to terms with the above wisdom. Wiser and older I am willing to let go things. "To hold, you must first open your hand. Let go." Lao Tzu.

Camping

Camping is one of the favorite summer things to do in the states of Minnesota and Wisconsin. It has kind of grown onto me. I went back to the same woods we were last year. Brought back some old memories and made some wonderful new ones. I won't see some friends in a long time so I will remember this for quite some time. On both nights I saw the sky filled with stars. The kind of starry night I haven't seen in years! There were shooting stars to spot every now and then. I spotted 3 on each night. They say that whatever you wish for with the shooting star comes true. I made a few. You are not supposed to say out what you wished else it won't work. I think mine will not come true. It is long ask and I already see it in troubled waters. :|
I think last time I saw was in my old town where I grew up as a little kid in India. When the power was out we would hang out under the sky in big group of my extended joint family. I might have been 10 or something. More memories.

I tumbled upon the page www.theminimalists.com. I have always been attracted to the idea of minimalism but never quite formally adopted it. I cannot claim to be true minimalist but I try to include it in my lifestyle.

In relation to what I posted earlier
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4cV8yfgNyI

Cloud

Sometimes life can be a mess. I have a lot of things which are to be done. I am stuck in a cloud.

Figure Caption: How we would like to do science (left) and how it actually works (right). Here, A represents what we currently know and B represents what we would like to know. Our desire is to move from A to B in as direct a line as possible. However, we usually get stuck as we are approaching B, things don't work out, and we keep taking detours and going in circles. Uri Alon calls this state "the cloud." Eventually, we give up on reaching B and instead head for C, a new insight that we found while wandering in the cloud. Usually, C represents the solution to a problem we weren't even aware of when we started. After U. Alon [1].

[1] U. Alon (2009) How To Choose a Good Scientific Problem. Mol. Cell 35:726-728.

Personal life is not going great too. But all that will be thing of past soon I will start over. I hope. I will.

There is so much left unfound!

Here is a beautiful song I recently discovered. I have been playing it on repeat since past few days

Somewhere in this lonely world

There is a place where I belong

And I have seen its fields and streams

They've been revealed in my dreams

But you see I cannot settle down

There's just too much left unfound

And I keep drifting like a cloud

On the wind, on the wind

Relationships (un)explored

Each day in our lives we come across a lot of people. We like them or we don't but we form connections with each and every one of them. (Let me take small pit-break here and announce that instead of forcing my experiences/opinions on 'we' I will start addressing to us as I. I still believe that it is applicable to many, if not most, of us). Moving on, the feeling of likeness is based on  how much I can associate or identify myself with others. The basic instinct of humans is to like over dislike and love over hate. If you don't know someone it is easier to love them than hate them. To hate someone it is essential to know them. But to love it is not. Hence, I argue, love is more pervasive than hate. Someone long ago said to me: 'familiarity breeds contempt'. I was a bit pissed off after hearing this because this someone was someone with potential of being someone more familiar and special. Now, older and wiser, I cannot help but wonder how true this is.

Out of all those connections I wonder whether some could have been (or could be) more meaningful than others. But more often these connections are left unexplored (for good reasons, I suppose)
Sometimes it is simply plain old fear of rejection. Sometimes I just wonder if I am being 'greedy' in wanting more out of relationship and then go on to impose selflessness in my ways. Sometimes, in cases where applicable, it is the fear of falling into the abyss. Other times I happily embrace the nomad inside me and let it guide me through unattached living. Or I just get too lazy to make iota of effort. Whatever the reason, there are a many connections in the world that are being explored and many others being unexplored.

I think it would be apt to end this post with following lines from a famous ghazals. Ghazals are so beautiful, they just get me every time. This is so true in the modern ultra-fast paced society.

"Har taraf har jagah beshumaar aadmi,
fir bhi tanhaiyon ka shikar aadmi"

Food for thought

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and  things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”  – Mark Twain

"If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It's deadly" -- Someone

When I cannot travel (more often than not) I host travelers at my place as vicarious way of traveling. Most of them are strangers whom I meet for the first time. I know it feels strange. But you will be surprised how many times you can connect with these people and wonder how similar we are. I was hosting yesterday someone with two cute cats. Ozwin and Shalimar. Cats are SOME animal. Each of them have character very unique to them. I don't know what I like about cats but I like their company. Perhaps there sneaky-ness. Or that they are cuddly. Or because they are diminutive of the big cats. Anyway, apart form cats they are all fun people I have met.

How dogs from California are saving the world

Here is a story that will restore your faith (in case you lost it owing to the sad news all over the media) in humanity and goodness of people. This is for the people who have started believing that Kalyug is upon us and we are destined to Apocalypse.

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-33463191

Grand canyon

This past weekend I discovered the beauty of Grand Canyon. I thin kit is one of the most beautiful places in the world. As cliche as it may sound, it is true. It is beyond description and with vocabulary like mine it is even more difficult. So i will not try. You have to see for yourself. I left a piece of myself there. I think I will return there to get it back. :)
I was travelling in a big group of 11. Big group I know. But it worked out fine in the end. We flew to Vegas airport and drove to what is called South Rim of the canyon. After a two day camping and hiking drove to North Rim. One day stay here and then left back to Vegas to Minneapolis. And back to work

Walk like crazy

I walked ~16 miles on last Saturday morning to come back home with sore legs. I had pain in the most unusual of the places. At the back of the knee but in the lower portion just above the calf. I was expecting my shins to give up first but it didn't happen. Strangely rest of the things were just fine. Little pain in the Achilles tendon which is normal for me. My Achilles tendon is my Achilles heel. :)

Keep calm

More than a month without a blog post and here I am with my confessions. I haven't been focusing on work lately since returning from India trip. Always the hangover of visit back home. I got to see a lot of friends in Bangalore. And also an 'arranged date' (as I like to call it) which was unfruitful for most part.
I think I need to pickup research more seriously sooner than later. After the oral prelims exam I am closer to finish line of PhD. It would be fair to say I'm more than half way through. Although I can't say I can see the line but there is a realization that, like the Earth, the Sun and the Universe, it exists.
Minnesotan summer has arrived and green is the color of outside now. This is the beginning of short window when you can go outside without an outerwear jacket or stuff. This is also the season I am most physically active. I already made a lot of summer travel plans and, admittedly, have been over-occupied with them. There are more trivia that I have been wasting time on. This needs to stop! It's time to

On another note I read a particularly shallow and sexist article on The Hindu which, I think, was not worthy of The Hindu and bringing its standards down. These are the stuff more suited for additional page 3 in Times of India or other tabloid-under-cover.
http://www.thehindu.com/features/metroplus/society/tch-tch-tch-these-indian-men/article7137930.ece

I fly

I am back to Minnesota after a packed and exhausting trip back to India. Tired and jet-lagged but need to catch up with lost work hours. I didn't write a single line of the draft paper I was supposed to finish during my visit. Two meetings coming up back to back tomorrow. I don't how it will go through. But I think I will survive.
It was nice to meet up some old friends, and their new other haves, on the last day of the trip in Bangalore. It was for very short period but it matters nevertheless. I also ran a 5k there hours before my flight. 

Interview

Hello Everyone. Long time no see. :)
I have a news. I am interviewing on this Saturday. I will be interviewer not interviewee. If you haven't heard about 1947partitionarchive it is time to hear about it now. A bunch of students in California decided to digitally archive the experiences of folks who have witnessed the India-Pakistan partition back in 1947. Since the number of such folks is dwindling fast it is imperative that we do it now otherwise it will be never. I guess it was inspired by a similar project for Hiroshima & Nagasaki disaster. I am really glad that someone took the initiative to finally document this. I have read a lot of stuff about partition and always wondered what it would be like to go through those horrific times.

I will be video interviewing a 90 year old man who migrated from one country to another during that time. It is my chance to witness the horrific part of history first hand and help record it. I am glad that I got the chance but there are very mixed feeling of grief, heartbreak, anguish and finally disgust towards those responsible.

It took me a lot to actually prepare for this. I had no experience in either interviewing or documenting history or video production or anything like that. But I had a little (online) training and lot of reading to back me. I am strong in theory. I always have been, in most things. Lets see if I can practically execute it now. I feel confident enough. I invested a lot of myself in volunteering to be Citizen Historian as the Archive folks like to call it. It came at very busy time. I am wrapping up things to prepare for my India visit next week. I still have some shopping things left. I think I will skip the part where I decide what I wear in the wedding. I will let more capable people (my Mom) handle the difficult things. It is not the domain of Zuckerburg-ian fashion admirers.

I am applying for a 14 day intense training on large scale scientific computing using parallel clusters. It is highly competitive and I have very slim chance of getting in. Let me try. Trying to meet the deadline tomorrow so cheerios!

Back home soon

I don't remember if I broke the good news here. May be I did but I will do again. My other sister is getting married in April. That calls for a visit back home. And with that all members in my family will be married except me.
March has been largely busy and I know I didn't get to blog much. I took many weekends off which was nice. This weekend was fun fun. Picnic at Fort Snelling Park with friends at lab and soup night at a friends place who likes to feed people awesome soups.

If you are in mumbai and want to enjoy some French goodness then try some of these!

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-31425405

In another news I finally passed the driving road test to become licensed driver in the US. Please don't ask me how many attempts I took ;) No I feel very confident about getting my PhD.

Also I am going to Madison for a weekend with my favorite person to hangout with, which is also me. Happy solo traveler. Not entirely true though. Another friend will also join. But from Minneapolis I start alone with my favorite person.

Cricket fever

A lot of work and a lot of cricket on telly. That means little time for everything else. Both the teams I support started the world cup 2015 unbecoming of themselves. Everyone wrote India off and everyone declared New Zealand as favorites. I almost switched India and New Zealand in the last sentence, except I didn't. Both the teams have been doing well so far and I would love to see a final game between these two!

Among other things of note I booked my ticket for visit to India for about 2 weeks in April. My other sister is getting married. Yay! When I told this to my adviser he was like 'how many sisters do you have!' :) Because not longer than 10 months I went back home for the same reason. Two, was my reassuring answer. I will be the only unmarried person in my family after that. :)

Other than that life has been passing by decently. The cold is unrelenting and unforgiving even though we are looking into rear end of February. I restarted on squash a little bit. 2 times in last week and pulled a muscle in butt a little. That's what happens when you spend 4 months of winter on chair and decide to show up on squash court. Haven't been in good touch at all so need a lot of practice before I start doing some kick-ass shots on the court.

It has been a long time since my last travel and I've been itching to break the bud. I had this crazy idea of taking 2 day train to Seattle and fly back the next day but it didn't happen. There is a plan in the air about road tripping to St. Louis, Missouri. But I have some non-committal friends so the plan is not final yet.

Voila! Violin!

Voila! Violin!
I've been listening to a lot of Violin lately. There is something special about the sound of violin which is like no other sound. The first time I listened to violin with some thought was when a lab-mate played for us. I think it was Paganini's Caprice 24. It's so interesting that you can do a lot with so little. I would just start a long YouTube video of some classical composition of Paganini or Vivaldi or anyone else (I don't get too much hung up upon name) and let it play in the background. I also transcended a few times into piano which, I suppose, could be equally captivating.

Twice in a row

I never had flu twice in a single season. Until now. But it is happening this season. I caught flu again. All this even when I had a flu shot at the start of the season. I am so pissed off at my immune system. And I seriously doubt the efficacy of flu-shots. Ironically, it started just after my visit to hospital for general physical exam and I was deemed in good all round health. ;)

On a more merrier note, I attended a Beatles music show last weekend. Well, it was not The Beatles playing, just The Beatles music performed by The Cavern Lads at a restaurant in Minneapolis. Not bad! The weather is inching close to zero. Perfect for a visit to ice-cream parlor outside. But pity I caught flu.

Curious case of bribery

Okay people. I have the big exam tomorrow. I know my shit well. I know what to speak and what I am speaking. Also I think it is difficult to not pass this exam at this point. But you know what, I have been surprised before and I am eager to get this monkey off my back. If I pass this exam I am throwing a big-ass party tomorrow where I cook a lot of food for a lot of people. But condition being I pass my oral exam. So essentially I have bribed everybody with a promise of free-food in return of their good wishes for me ;) The way people bribe God with the promises of laddoos to pass their exam. I see God in each of His creation. I hope that works. If you wish me luck, I will feed you next time we meet!

Pledge 10%

Stories like this are hope for humanity. Proof that the good is still the good. As opposed some claims that bad is the new good. You don't need big pocket to help (donate to) others. You need a big heart.

Few months back when I mentioned to a friend that I pledged 10% of my year-end savings to donation he was surprised and started defending why/how he cannot do that. (He earns thrice as much as me and lives in the same city). If you think of all that money at once it may be numerically big but it is only 10%. Of the saving, not even income. I mean, you won't even notice it if you don't see it in the bank statement! Seriously guys, it is not a lot. For you. But it may mean a lot for less privileged ones. I've explained this in more details here how it works.

If I have you convinced and you are looking for good cause/place to give, I know of many. I have my own skepticism when it comes to giving but following are genuine organizations, I believe.
www.godparents.in (education children)
www.waterislife.com (provide clean water)
http://kopernik.info (various technologies)

I am not a rich person but I have had more opportunity to be in a better position in society just by being born in a place I was born. While I worked my way up, many others could have. Since the opportunities are limited, I, by taking them, denied others of it. So I feel obliged to help who were born less fortunate. I am not doing anything in action about it. The least I could do is share my wealth. It may sound ridiculous but it IS logical.
I am willing to match your first donation amount you donate after reading this. So do it :) And I will get back to working on my presentation for Friday. Big day coming up this week. 

Hello January

Hello January! It is here again. January hasn't been a good friend of mine in the last few years. I always had my share of troubled times at school around this time of the year. Topped by the shit-cold weather averaging -20C. Yes, there is a minus sign and it is 20C after it.
But this year has been a little different. First of, not that cold, specially in the past week. Work wise, not too bad. I have my simulations sunning on the track. I submitted my thesis proposal titled "Site-Specific Simulation of Marine and Hydro-Kinetic Turbine Arrays". Oral presentation for the same is scheduled at the end of this month, Friday the 30th. I shouldn't have major hiccups passing this exam on 30th but then I stopped taking anything for granted after my first year at grad school. So it is a serious exam and I am preparing a 30 minute talk on my work. I will present it in front of 4 professors from my school, supposedly experts in this area of research, and try to convince them yes my work will be worth a PhD; yes, I am worth getting a PhD.
If they are convinced they let you carry on your work. I do not know anyone who has failed this exam but then again, life is full of surprises. And at this point of time, I am not seeking one. So wish me luck.