My current playlist

Lots of beatles on my playlist these days...

1) Hazaro Kwahishe Aisi (Jagjit Singh) - Excellent song sung by Jagjit Singh and written by Mirza Ghalib

2) Hoshwalo ko khabar (Jagjit Singh) - Live concert video is what I'm playing. Soft and soothing song.

3)Hey Jude (Beatles) - The first line 'Hey Jude dont make it bad' is worth falling love with. Sort of motivating and keeping from going paranoid.

4)Strawberry fields forever (Beatles) - What is real? How do you define real? What makes you happy? Reality or imagination. Nothing is real and nothing to get hungabout.

5)While my guitar (Beatles) - Must listen to this song and the next one. Sure everybody will like it. At least read the lyrics here.

6)In my life (Beatles) - Lyrics here.

7) A day in the life (Beatles) - Its tells a normal day in our life when we son't care about a lot of thing but they have significance of their own and worth a more introspective look.

8) How? (Beatles) - Its about feelings. Feeling of Love.

9) God. (Beatles) - What is this word. Is God something you believe in? Then you should'nt. God is a concept that is our necessity and all you shuld believe in is YOU!

10) Instant Karma - One of Lennon's classic. Everybody must be knowing about Karma theory, at least if you are in India.

11) Give Peace a chance (Beatles) - Bedicated to peace. All we are saying give peace a chance.

Its gloomy...

Why is the atmosphere so gloomy? It feels dusk even before the dusk. It is dawn much after the dawn. Nothing is motivating. Even the Lakshya song fails.

They say happiness like sand on the shore is made of many little things. So is the gloominess. It is difficult to credit some reason of the other

Nothing is happening in these days. Not much of gaming. Not much of studies. Only 2 chapters of 'The Great Partition' and then the book has been showpiece. It has just Beatles and Jagjit Singh (songs) that has been happening to me in last few days. And I again fell in love with both of them.

How can I?

How can I have feeling when I don't know if it's a feeling?
How can I feel something if I just don't know how to feel?
How can I have feelings when my feelings have always been denied? Oh no, oh no.
How can I give love when I don't know what it is I'm giving?
How can I give love when I just don't know how to give?
How can I give love when love is something I ain't never had? Oh no, oh no.

You know life can be long and you got to be strong
and the world is so tough sometimes i feel i've had enough.
Oh no, oh no.

-- JOHN LENNON

Bharat Mahima

I've been searching for this amazing poem by Jayshankar Prasad from a long time and finally got it. Specially the last two lines make you thrill.

हिमालय के आँगन में उसे, प्रथम किरणों का दे उपहार ।

उषा ने हँस अभिनंदन किया, और पहनाया हीरक-हार ।।

जगे हम, लगे जगाने विश्व, लोक में फैला फिर आलोक ।

व्योम-तुम पुँज हुआ तब नाश, अखिल संसृति हो उठी अशोक ।।

विमल वाणी ने वीणा ली, कमल कोमल कर में सप्रीत ।

सप्तस्वर सप्तसिंधु में उठे, छिड़ा तब मधुर साम-संगीत ।।

बचाकर बीच रूप से सृष्टि, नाव पर झेल प्रलय का शीत ।

अरुण-केतन लेकर निज हाथ, वरुण-पथ में हम बढ़े अभीत ।।

सुना है वह दधीचि का त्याग, हमारी जातीयता का विकास ।

पुरंदर ने पवि से है लिखा, अस्थि-युग का मेरा इतिहास ।।

सिंधु-सा विस्तृत और अथाह, एक निर्वासित का उत्साह ।

दे रही अभी दिखाई भग्न, मग्न रत्नाकर में वह राह ।।

धर्म का ले लेकर जो नाम, हुआ करती बलि कर दी बंद ।

हमीं ने दिया शांति-संदेश, सुखी होते देकर आनंद ।।

विजय केवल लोहे की नहीं, धर्म की रही धरा पर धूम ।

भिक्षु होकर रहते सम्राट, दया दिखलाते घर-घर घूम ।

यवन को दिया दया का दान, चीन को मिली धर्म की दृष्टि ।

मिला था स्वर्ण-भूमि को रत्न, शील की सिंहल को भी सृष्टि ।।

किसी का हमने छीना नहीं, प्रकृति का रहा पालना यहीं ।

हमारी जन्मभूमि थी यहीं, कहीं से हम आए थे नहीं ।।

जातियों का उत्थान-पतन, आँधियाँ, झड़ी, प्रचंड समीर ।

खड़े देखा, झेला हँसते, प्रलय में पले हुए हम वीर ।।

चरित थे पूत, भुजा में शक्ति, नम्रता रही सदा संपन्न ।

हृदय के गौरव में था गर्व, किसी को देख न सके विपन्न ।।

हमारे संचय में था दान, अतिथि थे सदा हमारे देव ।

वचन में सत्य, हृदय में तेज, प्रतिज्ञा मे रहती थी टेव ।।

वही है रक्त, वही है देश, वही साहस है, वैसा ज्ञान ।

वही है शांति, वही है शक्ति, वही हम दिव्य आर्य-संतान ।।

जियें तो सदा इसी के लिए, यही अभिमान रहे यह हर्ष ।

निछावर कर दें हम सर्वस्व, हमारा प्यारा भारतवर्ष ।।

Hazaaron khwahishe aisi...

Hazaaron Khvaahishen aisii ki har Khvaaish pe dam nikale
Bahut nikale mere armaaN lekin phir bhii kam nikale

Nikalanaa Khuld se aadam kaa sunate aaye hain lekin
Bahut beaabaruu hokar tere kuuche se ham nikale

Muhabbat men nahiin hai farq jiine aur marane kaa
Usii ko dekh kar jiite hain jis kaafir pe dam nikale

Khudaa ke vaaste pardaa na kaabe se uThaa zaalim
Kahiin aisaa na ho yaaN bhii vahii kaafir sanam nikale

KahaaN maiKhaane ka daravaazaa 'Ghalib' aur kahaaN vaaiz
Par itanaa jaanate hain kal vo jaataa thaa ke ham nikale

New chapter 2009

This is the first post of this year. I wish all my readers very very Happy New Year. I will try to write in more interesting way.

I came across an interesting quote in new year -

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

Way

Whatever was swaying is on way now. I'm not on sway. That too fast I believe.

This is the last post of this year. With me finding a way for myself I close the 2008 chapter of my life and my diary called Saucy Unplugged. Let's hope for some more new one ways and the wisdom to chose one right way whenever it is a sway.

Sway

I don't know what others would have done if in my shoes. Im really confused though and not quite convinced of what Im doing. May be there is bit of impulsive action which is driving me but its not only impulsive action. There is more of it. I don't no what. just before the moment Im undecided and when the moment comes it takes me through.
All I know is that I am not wrong in doing it that way or rather the way things are doing. It's right as long as policies are right and I'm not here to hurt anyone. Its just that I don't know which way to sway! Till I know which way to sway, lets keep doing things which do not appear 'wrong'. Although the terms right and wrong are relative terms and change in circumstances they can be taken in their usual sense.
At the same time lets refrain from changes that are irreversible. Sure things cannot be undone on time scale but there are things which have binding outcomes and (related) actons and there are things which don't. Sort of cause-effect relation.

New Dell

"From now onwards I will be owning this laptop."
--Saucy, February 10, 2007.

This was when I first had my laptop. http://saucy-unplugged.blogspot.com/2007/02/dell-inspiron-6400.html

Round and about, with and and without laptop I had been since then (gave that to my sister). But now is new stylish spring green dell inspiron 1525 n series. Mine is here. But as the first love is the best love, my first dell was the best laptop.
This is the first day of blogging from new laptop and brings back memories of the same when same happened to fall on me for the first time (Feb 10, 2007).

Flying back into archives I got some more memories of the lad I used to be nearly 2 years back. Here is a poem I posted:


She's been down and out,
she's been wrote about,
she's been talked about,
constantly.
She's been up and down,
she's been pushed around,
but they held her down,
NYC.
She has no regrets,
she accepts the past,
all these things they helped
to make she.
She's been lost and found,
and she's still around,
there's a reason for
everything.

You know I've been holdin on.
Try to make me weak,
but I still stay strong.
Put my life all up in these songs,
just so you can feel me,
so you can get the real me.

So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all,
just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.

Now she's older now,
yes, she's wiser now
can't disguise her now,
she don't need
no one tellin her
what to do and say,
no one tellin her
who to be.
She's on solid ground,
she's been lost and found,
now she answers to
G-O-D,
and she's confident
this is not the end.
Ask me how I know,
cause she is me.

You know I've been holdin on.
Try to make me weak,
but I still stay strong.
Put my life all up in these songs,
just so you can feel me,
so you can get the real me.

So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all,
just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.

So it's all or nothing at all,
all or nothing at all,
don't you know I can only be me,
I can only be me, yeah,
I can only be me.
So it's all or nothing at all,
all or nothing at all,
don't you know I can only be me,
I can only be me, yeah,
this is me.

This is me,
this is me,
this is me,
this is me,
this is me,
no one else, no,
you can't take that from me, oh.

So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all,
just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.

Written by Mary J. Blige

Lazying

Im in one of my most lethargic modes of existence. 10 days since Im home enjoying doing nothing. Got stuck after Alexander the great - chapter 5 of History of Europe. It's almost over with this period. 27th is the registration date. It was my last winter vacation at home btw. Watching cricket matches on TV was delightful. India beating England and SA beating Aussies! That was great!

What quite makes my laziness lethal this time was inability to practice it fully. Everything I do bears high friction coefficient owing to this inability which in turn strengthens itself. Sort of deadlock!

Many a time why are we not able to speak our hearts? Why are we forced by ourselves to unnecessarily draw the covers when we know they are transparent? From whom may we hide it when everybody is aware of the truth? Its just that we are not willing to accept the facts as the appear. By concealing it we are fooling ourselves into unreal world. Isn't it logically fallible!

Many times we have heard about expression of thought. The power of expression of thought. The power that you can control your expression of thought is more important than the power of expression of thought we are proud of. If we were not able to control it then what wonders it might have brought to us. Just imagine that everybody around you knows what you think just like they hear what you say.
The fact that the feeling and the expression of the feeling can be varied saves the world for us. Sp it did saved for me.

Change

Metamorphosis should be the word because this change is occurring over a period of time and since it is distributed over a time span its intensity is diluted. Nevertheless the change it is.

I am not the usual shy looking simple guy who I used to be. I have come a long way about initiating conversation, convincing people; quite confidently many times.

The change has saw me solving rubik's cube in a minute. The change has saw me involved in sports other than cubing. Squash, badminton, cricket (in earlier days) basketball (sometimes).

Beliefs have changed. Principles have changed a bit too. I have caught myself doing things I thought I will (or can) never do. And all this for good, positively.

"People, relationships and then you with your 'self' ". Yeah! All of 'em changing. Me to myself, people to me and me to people and their relationships are changing. Not a phase shift though but again a change diluted over time; still noticeable.

Waist size is also changing; on farther side! [:P]

Naukri

Its season for employment, though not the best this year, people here are getting jobs. 8/11 pf my friends appearing for placements have been placed. So coming days are those of treat party and celebration of last few months of life we will live together for the last time in our lives. No one knows what is in the next chapter but this chapter of life has been kindest.

All of them finished

All of the exams finished. It looks like India is under continuous attack of some misguided people who are brainwashed to believe that they are fighting for there freedom. As I write this post I hear to CNN-IBN live reposting about Mumbai under attack. Terrorists in the hotel.


Anyways, with this semester gone its 3 more to go. This is the closing chapter of the seventh semester. This one gone really fast and different one. This has been most studious semester. I had issued library books as many as in total of all six semesters. In spite of this I watched maximum number of movies, we played LAN games during the semester, played squash. And much more to the fullest.
Next sem plan is to learn swimming apart from all this.

Exams

With exams going around its a good time to study. But apart from it this we have been gaming on LAN as well as Badminton as well as Zataka as well as HeliAttack3. A game filled end sem is the achievement of this semester exam.
Besides all this fun I still hope the performance index this semester to be >8.5/10! So right is the thing that - people who feel good about them produce good results.

Now time to get back to study for tomorrow's exam.....

Our first and last love is.. self-love

Rightly said. But isn't that narcissistic?

Wake up call!

Now is one of the many wake up calls attended before the end-sem rings for me (to see how many search wake up call on this blog). But te fact of being so many doesn't tarnishes the honor of wake up calls. Its 11 days for end sems now. And its now-or-never type situation to get what was set in the beginning of the semester.
It has been a while since I seriously attended to studies. It all started after I returned from home on Wednesday of last week. Since then Wednesday came again and it added no academic value.

For whatever reasons I was out, I am out of it and right on track.

What's it?

Superman has it, batman has it, spider-man has it, he-man has it, even Shaktiman has it but I don't.
Clark Kent is Superman, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Peter Parker is Spiderman, Prince Adam is Heman, even Gangadhar is Shaktiman but who am I?
It's missing.

Sometimes it's better to keep it simple

This post comes in 4 parts. First one is the title and three others follow.

Living and non-living. Whats the foremost difference between them? It is FEELINGS. At times they can be so complex. I assure you it will happen to you and you will never know where it came from and why it was! It will just be as it will be as a fact. Like an elephant vanishing in the air in front of your eyes; you can only acknowledge it and wonder at it, you can neither explain it nor you are responsible for it.

I meet some people who hold my hand & they decide to walk with me. These people & their stay in my life I cannot foresee. Life for me is living in the present, cherishing what I receive ‘now’ from people & things. Let us let things shape up themselves.

From years blogger had been a good listener to me and so it remains. It listens to my most honest confessions beyond doubts. And all the while it is the feeling of soliloquy that I enjoy. I miss those days when I used to blog and read some good ones from fellow bloggers most of whom seem missing. (Shreya still writes amazing poetry; Lesia aunty seems to appear yearly; Ishan never woke up after a good wake up call; for some blog-has-been-removed) This is the only way out so here comes the punch line: Speak out, say loud and be heard; say it to blogger.

There is an additional fifth one which ought to be numbered 3.5 .

Somebody somewhere said 'Do not fight the war you do not intend to win'. But he forgot to contemplate are there are winners/losers even if there was no war? Take your guess.

When it pains to smile

Im in those rarest state when it pains to smile. Got my first injury (a minor one) in squash. The lips were smashed by raket into bigger lips. half part of the lips are protruding out. It may keep me from playing squash next one day.

Gift

Never before had I felt humiliated for a gift.
Few weeks ago I bought myself squash kit and playing little regularly. Though that doesn't implies playing good. May be this is not I'm fit for with the kind of limbs I'm gifted with. Wrist joint is paining. It's difficult to make good grip of the racquet.