I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
Then again
That might have been a dream

I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
And I just do what i've been told
I really don't want
Them to come around

Home calling

It's 11:30 now. I've to attend a lecture 2-3 and then leave for home!
2-1/2 hours left. I've to take brush, bath, shave and make my bag ready for 1 week visit to home. Also to carry all the cubing gears.
It's good time ahead.

Exam plethora

Close to getting my first 'F' in college. It's 15 min before I gave exam. I can't speak now. I can't think. I am choked. It feels suffocating. Somebody give me respiration.
I'm still. I can't move. Feeling dizzy.
Now no expectations upheld. I'm ready to take in anything. And back to business! Get back to study. plethora

Unable to concentrate

With mid sems at the doorsteps I am not able to concentrate on studies. Partial reason is that I have not studied well this semester. Results are going to be unforeseen. But then how far is it going to effect my life. I don't wish for a 15 lpa placement from the campus. Neither do I aspire to sit in AC rooms and instruct people/machines for 15 hrs a day. So these things matter less for me.
Or they may?
I'm not sure.
But at last I am not able to concentrate.
Longing for the much awaited MID-SEM BREAK. One week at home. Nothing to haunt. It will all be fine. I'll be back to my good old form after that.
Task at hand is to bear the exams without much of damage.
Hope it's done!
Good night!

With dreams....
--Saucy

Poems

I came across this girl's blog randomly moths before. She writes amazing poetry. Read the following two which I found touching:

Just Because
Just because no one has been
fortunate Enough to realize what a gold mine you are,

Doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough To figure out that you can't be topped,

Doesn't Stop you from being THE BEST.

Just because no one has come along to share Your life,

Doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race Worth while,

doesn't give you permission To stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much Of a woman you are,

Doesn't mean they can Affect your femininity.

Just because no one has come to take the Loneliness away,

Doesn't mean you have to Settle for a lower quality.

Just because no one has shown up who Can love you on your level,

Doesn't meanYou have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best There is,

doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your King,

doesn't mean that you're not already A QUEEN.

Just because your situation doesn't seem To be progressing right now,

doesn't mean You need to change a thing.

Keep shining,

Keep running,

Keep hoping,

Keep praying,

Keep being exactly what you are already -




You Don't care but I'm here for you

You don't care,

but I am here……… for you

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears.

But I can listen to you,

and together we will search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,

nor the future with its untold stories.

But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.

I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;

Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;

I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,

from your values, from me.

I can only pray for you,

talk to you and

wait for you.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,

But I can cry with you

and help you pick up the pieces

and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.

I can only love you and

be your friend.

Exams haunting

Ever since 2nd sem my performance has been down the slope seems this will be 1 more semester like previous ones. Exams from Monday. Hope to see Dr. Mahendu before exams

Today's Count

Today I slept for 10+1.5 = 11.5 hours.
Man! this is serious. I'm sick. I'm looking for the psychiatrist visit. I definitely need to consult. I need treatment. Its getting worse. I will screw this semester badly.
I also discovered that the throat infection problem which I am facing since 3rd semester hits hard only when exams close in. May be that's related to anxiety. My sister says that I have a high anxiety level.

Your choices are half your chances!

Choose carefully Choose confidently.